Further Manifestations of Illness

After a short stay in Govardhana, Śrīla Gurudeva again exhibited manifestations of sickness. He expressed a deep desire to stay in Vraja and to be able to celebrate Śrī Rādhāṣṭamī in Mathurā, but because Mathurā and Govardhana lack adequate medical facilities, he had to return to Delhi.

As Gurudeva enacted his pastime of illness again and again, the heartbreak his disciples and followers experienced can only be known to them. Everyone simply desired Śrīla Gurudeva’s speedy recovery, by one means or another. Śrīla Gurudeva was scheduled to fly to Malaysia on 19 September, but on the advice of his Ayurvedic doctors, his journey was cancelled. The doctors said that we are coming to you, you don't have to come far distance. So his journey was cancelled. His sevakas, headed by Śrīpada Mādhava Mahārāja and Brajnatha Prubhu, hastily consulted prominent doctors from India and abroad and began to arrange the best possible treatment in Delhi.

Continuous nāma-saṅkīrtana, parikramās, worship and offerings, and fire sacrifice for the recovery of Śrīla Gurudeva’s health.

While Śrīla Gurudeva stayed in the Śrī Ramaṇa-Bihārī Gauḍīya Maṭha and received treatment, local devotees and devotees arriving from all corners of the world would perform nāma-saṅkīrtana outside his bhajanakutīra, for hours every day. Śrīla Gurudeva would relish their kīrtana from inside his bhajana-kutīra. People neglected their jobs, businesses and household affairs with just two things in mind–their concern for Śrīla Gurudeva’s health and how to receive his darśana. Sometimes Śrīla Gurudeva’s sevakas would help him walk to the door of his bhajana-kutīra, his arms resting on their shoulders as they walked on either side of him, or sometimes we used to help him to travel by wheelchair. Upon seeing Śrīla Gurudeva, the devotees would perform nāma-saṅkīrtana loudly and would feel such intense emotion that often they could not help but weep. At other times, Śrīla Gurudeva would come out to sit on his balcony and give his darśana and blessings to the devotees below.

To pray for his good health, many devotees performed regular parikramā, abhiśekha with pañcāmṛta and worship, especially of sarvaabhista-pradata Śrī Girirāja Govardhana. Besides this, Nṛsiṃha yajñas, Sudarśana yajñas etc., were organized in India and abroad on a daily basis. Everyone’s sole cherished desire in performing these devotional practices was to see that Śrīla Gurudeva gain full recovery of his health, quickly. If his sevakas caught a glimmer of hope that any medical procedure, alternative or otherwise, would help him, they would try it immediately.

Manifesting transcendental symptoms

During this period of ill health, Śrīla Gurudeva remained absorbed in deep transcendental moods. Sometimes he would utter indistinct words, and other times he would chant his āhnika or stava-stutis (devotional prayers) for hours on end. Only upon his sevakas’ repeated efforts to offer him food or medicine would he slowly return to external consciousness, sometimes fully and sometimes only partially. Thus Śrīla Gurudeva would constantly remain in an internal state (antara-daśā). The high-class devotee or uttamabhagavata as a sadhaka-form, they have three stages in their bhajana: (1) Antara-daśā means internal stage. (2) Ardha-bahya-daśā. (3) Bahya-daśā.

Being in internal stage, the uttama-bhagavata are serving their worshippable deity, the divine couple constantly. They even forget completely that they are living in this body in this material world. They have entered in aprakata-lila and taking darśana and serving līlā there. General mass will not understand this thing. Being with us, doing all activity, still they are in samadhī, like vrajavasis, especially vraja-gopīs. It is called sahaja-samadhī.

In ardha-bahya daśā, they talk like a madman. There is no link in their talking. The karmis and jñanis think that this devotee has become mad because karmis and jñanis have no knowlegde about this stage of bhakti as they are devoid of bhakti. For example, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu manifested ecstatic symptoms on his transcendental body and asked Svarūpa Dāmodara and Rāya Rāmānanda, "Am I Caitanya? I was watching the water sport pastime of the divine couple. Why have you dragged me here?"

In bahya-daśā, the uttama-bhagavata comes down to madhyamas tage and advises other devotees and disciples, and does harināma-saṅkīrtana. We have seen and realised these 3 stages of uttama-bhagavata in Śrīla Gurudeva.

Within Śrīla Gurudeva’s bhajana-kutīra, his sevakas would from time to time sing his favourite kīrtanas, and sometimes they would read to him from scripture.

One day Śrīla Gurudeva said, “I have collected all the spices, but cannot find the ubar.” He uttered this over and over. Each time, his sevakas, especially Śrīpada Mādhava Mahārāja and Dvija Krsna Prabhu asked him what this spice was, but Śrīla Gurudeva simply softly uttered the same word again and again. No one present had ever heard of this transcendental spice. To clear this point, we are giving one example of Śrīla Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura. During his preaching, so many socalled Vaisnavas became against him and wanted to remove him from this world. Their idea was, "Nā rahegā baṃsa, nā bajegī bāṃsurī." That is, if there is no bamboo, there is no possiblity of a flute. If there is no Cakravartī Ṭhākura, there will be no preaching of paramour mood. Śrīla Cakravartī Ṭhākura used to do parikramā of Vrindavan everyday. It was a part of his bhajana. The so-called devotees hid inside a big bush. Whoever did parikramā had to pass through the huge bushes. Nowadays, there are no more bushes. In middle of 80's, Śrīla Gurudeva showed us that area where they conspired to kill Cakravartī Ṭhākura. When Cakravartī Ṭhākura entered that bush area, he became a teenage mañjarī, Radhika's mañjarī. The conspirators asked that mañjarī, "O lālī, have you seen Cakravartī Ṭhākura? He just entered here. Where has he gone?" That gopī girl replied, "O, I have come from Javat, My svaminiji has sent me here to pickup some flowers, so I came to Vrindavan to pick some nice and fragrant flowers." As soon as the mañjarī crossed the bush area, he transferred again to Cakravartī Ṭhākura's form. Seeing this miracle scene, the conspirators ran towards him and fell full flat on his lotus feet and asked forgiveness again and again. To remove their offences, they became his disciples.

Like Śrīla Cakravartī Ṭhākura told in mañjarī form that I have come here to collect flowers for Svaminiji, in the same way, Śrīla Gurudeva told that I came here to collect ubar masālā (spice). By comparing this instance, the devotees can understand how much elevated vaiśṇava Gurudeva was in his sadhaka form.

Arrival of Respected Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas for Śrīla Gurudeva’s Darśana

During Śrīla Gurudeva’s stay in Delhi and Govardhana, many devotees who had attained the shelter of his lotus feet came daily to take his darśana. Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas from different maṭhas also came for his darśana. These included present ācārya of Śrī Caitanya Matha, Parampujyapada Śrī Bhaktiprajnana Yati Mahārāja, Śrī Gopīnātha Gauḍīya Maṭha’s present ācārya, Śrīpad Bhakti Vibhuda Bodhāyana Mahārāja; Śrī Gauḍīya Vedānta Samiti’s present ācārya, Śrīpad Bhaktivedānta Paryaṭaka Mahārāja, and also Śrīpad Bhaktivedānta Vaiṣṇava Mahārāja; ISKCON GBCs Śrīpad Gopālakṛṣṇa Mahārāja, Śrīpad Bhakticāru Mahārāja, Śrīpad Indradyumna Mahārāja, Śrīpad Bhakti Bhṛṅga Govinda Mahārāja, and Śrīpad Vedavyāsa Mahārāja; from Śrī Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭha, Śrīpad Bhakti Prapanna Tapasvi Mahārāja and Śrīpad Bhakti Vicāra Viṣṇu Mahārāja. In addition, many brahmacārīs and householder devotees from ISKCON and various Gauḍīya Maṭhas came to have darśana of Śrīla Gurudeva. Pūjyapāda Śrī Śrīmad Bhakti Vallabha Tīrtha Gosvāmī Mahārāja, the present ācārya of Śrī Caitanya Gauḍīya Maṭha, and his godbrother, pūjyapāda Śrī Śrīmad Bhakti Vijñāna Bhārati Mahārāja, telephoned and expressed to Śrīpad Bhaktivedānta Mādhava Mahārāja their concerns and prayers for Śrīla Gurudeva’s health.

Newly published books offered into Śrīla Gurudeva’s lotus hands

Śrīla Gurudeva had been in Delhi for Śrī Rūpa Gosvāmī’s disappearance day. At that time, Rasa-Bihārī Prabhu offered the English translation of Utkalikā-vallarī to Śrīla Gurudeva, on behalf of publication team. In addition, he was offered time to time, The Distinctive Contribution of Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī, printed in both English and Hindi, on behalf of Mañjarī dāsī. Later, Śrīpad Bhaktivedānta Dāmodara Mahārāja offered him the English translation of Vaiṣṇava-siddhānta-mālā, and he also offered two booklets on behalf of Śyāmarāṇī dāsī: Harmony Preview and Understanding Śrī Guru. Śāntī dāsī offered an English translation of Śrī Rādhā-kṛṣṇa-gaṇoddeśa-dīpikā, and Śyāmarāṇī dāsī and Vasanti dāsī offered a copy of Walking with a Saint. Also, Oriya translations of Jaiva dharma, Śrī Camatkāra-candrikā and Śrī Prema-sampuṭa were offered to Śrīla Gurudeva’s lotus hands by Śrīman Madhumaṅgala Brahmacārī and Śrīman Vaṃśī-vadana Brahmacārī. Although Śrīla Gurudeva does not read Oriya, he showed keen interest by opening several pages and inquiring time and again, “What is written here?” Vṛndāvaneśvarī dāsī and Kuñja-kalikā dāsī offered Spanish translations of The Way of Love and Manaḥ-śikṣā. And the Chinese devotees also offered him various Chinese translations. On many of these occasions, Śrīla Gurudeva was not always speaking, but on seeing these publications, his face would invariably brighten and he would shower his heartily blessings by repeatedly raising his lotus hands and bestowing his merciful glance upon the devotees involved in the service of book publishing.

When Śrī Śrī Bhāgavat Patrikā (year 7, number 7) was offered to Śrīla Gurudeva, he first skimmed through the magazine from cover to cover, and then returned to the article written by Paramgurudeva Śrīla Bhakti Prajñāna Keśava Gosvāmī Mahārāja, which he read in full.

The Arrival of Devotees for Śrī Vraja-maṇḍala Parikramā

Many devotees from India and abroad began to arrive for the eighty-four krosa Vraja-maṇḍala parikramā, which is performed during the month of Kārtika. But first, each and every devotee anxiously went to Śrī RamaṇaBihārī Gauḍīya Maṭha to receive Śrīla Gurudeva’s darśana, and only then did they proceed to Śrī Vṛndāvana-dhāma.

Śrīla Gurudeva’s instruction to Join Śrī Vraja-maṇḍala Parikramā

The devotees were worried about Śrīla Gurudeva’s health and some wanted to remain in Delhi to be near him. However, once Kārtika started, he did not always encourage this. On many mornings and evenings, he would come to the screen door of his bhajana-kutīra, either to sit for a few minutes or to stop briefly as he walked, aided by his sevakas. If he saw devotees waiting for his darśana in the courtyard, often he would ask them why they were there, and he would instruct them to go to Vṛndāvana to participate in Vraja-maṇḍala parikramā. “Your life will become successful by visiting these pastime places,” he would say. “I am only unable to attend parikramā because of my ill health, but I order all of you to go and participate. Gradually, I am improving and will try to join the parikramā as soon as possible.”

The Kind Concern of the Devotees

Śrīla Gurudeva’s pastime of illness prompted some devotees to speak to his personal sevakas, headed by Śrīpada Mādhava Mahārāja, expressing their concern that Śrīla Gurudeva was being obliged to remain in Delhi. These devotees felt that it was only appropriate that he be taken to Govardhana. The devotees’ concern was motivated by their great affection for Śrīla Gurudeva, and his sevakas, especially Śrīpada Mādhava Mahārāja, Brajanātha Prabhu, Siddhanti Mahārāja and Sañjaya Prabhu understood this. However they could not comply because they felt it their responsibility to do all they could to enable Śrīla Gurudeva to recover his health.

“If Śrīla Gurudeva were to manifest his disappearance pastime in Delhi,” the devotees said, “this would be terribly undesirable.” Responding to this, his sevakas, especially Śrīpada Mādhava Mahārāja answered to Ramacandra Prabhu and Dr. R.Prakash, "Please don't worry. When proper time will appear in front of us to take Śrīla Gurudeva to Govardhana, Gurudeva will order direct to me. I'll not delay for a second to fulfill his cherished desire." Instead of this, Ramacandra Prabhu asked Śrīla Gurudeva quite a few times, "O gurudeva, would you like to go to Govardhana?" Gurudeva never replied to Ramacandra Prabhu about this matter." The sevakas further pointed out, “Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura and Śrīla Prabhupāda Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura manifested their disappearance pastimes in Kolkata. Was that considered a greatly undesirable occurrence? Wherever an eternal associate of Bhagavān like Śrīla Gurudeva resides is indeed Śrī Vṛndāvana-dhāma, Śrī Govardhana or Śrī Rādhā-kuṇḍa.” But to some they did express their faith that, “At the appropriate time, Śrīla Gurudeva will express his desire to go to Govardhana.” Certainly, this came to pass.

Expressing the Desire to Reside in Govardhana during Kārtika

One day, in the middle of Kārtika, Śrīla Gurudeva told his sevakas that he now desired to go to Govardhana. Upon hearing his request, they immediately made all arrangements to take him there. On the morning of his departure, the crowd of devotees in the Delhi temple was so huge that it took half an hour for Śrīla Gurudeva to travel in his wheelchair from the elevator exit to the ambulance, a distance of about forty metres. Śrīla Gurudeva held his palm upright, showering blessings upon all. Dr. Ravindra Prakash of Delhi accompanied him on his journey to Govardhana.