Part 2 - The sacrement of Marriage

Of all the saṃskāras, vivāha or marriage is the most central one. Manu says: Having sent the first quarter of one’s life in the house of one’s Guru, the second quarter in ones own house with the wife, and the third quarter in the forest, one should take Sannyāsa in the fourth quarter, casting away every worldly tie.^[1] Manu thus extols the householder, just as every creature lives by air, so the orders of life exist by the support of the householder.^[2] A wife is the main source of dharma, artha and kāma, and so an unmarried person, irrespective of varṇa to which he belongs, is unfit for the discharge of duties. The sacrement of marriage empresses upon a person that earthly life is not to be despised, rather it should be consciously accepted and elevated to the level of a spiritual experience.

The eight forms of marriage mentioned in Smṛtis are Paiśāca, Rākṣasa, Gāndharva, Āsura, Prājāpatya, Ārṣa, Daiva and Brāhma,^[3] listed in the ascending order of merit. The last four are approved religiously (praśasta) and the first four are not (apraśasta). In the case of the approved marriages, the rituals are a condition precedent, while in case of the unapproved ones, it may be performed after marriage on the basis of non-religious considerations. However rituals attempt to bless and consecrate every possible form of human union.

First of all the determination and selection of the couple control and shape the institution of marriage. Normally a person should marry in the same varṇa but outside the same gotra and piṇḍa.^[4] Anuloma marriage, in which the wife is of an inferior varṇa, was permitted but not encouraged, Pratiloma marriage in which the husband is of an inferior varṇa was discouraged and banned.^[5] Restrictions regarding sagotra and sapiṇḍa marriages have been invariably observed, their breach is regarded as incest and is legally forbidden. A great stress is laid on biological, intellectual and spiritual homogenety between the bride and the bridegroom.

A marriage ritual consists of items pertaining to the pre-marital, marital and post-marital stages. The most important of these are:

1. Vāgdāna (betrothal),
2. Vara-varaṇa (formal acceptance of the bridegroom),
3. Kanyādāna (gift of the bride to the bridegroom by the legitamate guardian),
4. Vivāha-homa (marriage offerings),
5. Pāṇīgrahaṇa (clasping the hand),
6. Hṛdaya-sparśa (touching the heart),
7. Saptapadī (seven steps symbolic of prosperity and felicity),
8. Aśmārohaṇa (mounting the stone, symbolic of stability),
9. Sūryāvalokana (looking at the Sun, as a witness to the marriage),
10. Dhruva-darśana (looking at ther pole star, a symbol of constancy).

The primary function of marriage is the continuity of the race through the procreation of children. It is not a licence for indulgence, but a human institution aiming at moderation in conjugal life. Through utterences, promises, hops and fears this institution impress upon the minds of couple that marriage is an act of sacrifice in the interest of commuity.

Footnotes and references:

[1]:

caturthamāyuṣo bhāgamuṣitvādyaṃ gurau dvijaḥ |
dvitīyamāyuṣo bhāgaṃ kṛtadāro gṛhe vaset || ibid., 4.1

[2]:

yathā vāyuṃ samāśritya sarve jīvanti jantavaḥ |
tathā gṛhasthamāśritya vartante sarva āśramāḥ || ibid., 3.77

[3]:

brāhmo daivastathaivārṣaḥ prājāpatyastathāsuraḥ |
gāndharvo rākṣasaścaiva paiśācaścāṣṭamo'dhamaḥ || ibid., 3.21

[4]:

guruṇāmanumataḥ snātvā samāvṛtto yathāvidhi |
udvaheta dvijo bhāryāṃ savarṇāṃ lakṣaṇānvitām || ibid., 3.4
asapiṇḍaṃ ca yā māturasagotrā ca yā pituḥ |
sā praśastā dvijātīnāṃ dārakarmaṇi maithune || ibid., 3.5

[5]:

savarṇāgre dvijātīnāṃ praśastā dārakarmaṇi |
kāmatastu pravṛttānāmimāḥ syuḥ kramaśo varāḥ || ibid., 3.12
śūdraiva bhāryā śūdrasya sā ca svā ca viśaḥ smṛte |
te ca svā caiva rājñaśca tāśca svā cāgrajanmanaḥ || ibid., 3.13
na brāhmaṇakṣatriyayorāpadyapi hi tiṣṭhatoḥ |
kasmiṃścidapi vṛttānte śūdrā bhāryopadiśyate || ibid., 3.14
hīnajātisriyaṃ mohādudvahanto dvijātayaḥ |
kulānyeva nayantyāśu sasantānāni śūdratām || ibid., 3.15