Part 3: Position of a Daughter and Marriageable Girl

The women held a position of equality with men during the Vedic period. In the Vedic society the girl as well as the boy was required to undergo upanayana ceremonies in order to initiate into the Vedic studies. But in the Dharmaśāstra period, Manu and other Dharṃśāstrkāras didn’t like women to be exposed to the unprotected and independent life. It was because of this conception, Manu says that women should always be taken care of by someone-by her father in her girlhood, by the husband in her youth, by her son in her old age and not left to herself.^[1]

The very use of the word santati^[2] by Manu implies that he probably considered both son and daughter to be equal. He stated that a daughter should be brought up in a proper manner. Regarding the daughter he said that one’s son was equal to one’s soul and a daughter was equal to a son.^[3] In the 7^th century A.D., it is seen that, people had given equal position to their daughter, with their sons.^[4] Again, the women’s participation in all the fields has brought the feeling of equality among human beings. For example, Brahmā’s daughter Sarasvatī had participated in the (goṣṭhī) assembly with other male persons.^[5]

At that time, the word bālā^[6] and kumārī^[7] were used for mere-girl. Bāṇabhaṭṭa used these words for implying princess Rājyaśrī and Devī Sarasvatī respectively. The selection of bride and the marriage settlement at that time were generally made by the parents and other relatives and friends as well, and not by other parties, unless under exceptional circumstances. About these, Vātsāyana’s Kāmasūtra says that for the selection of the girl, the father, mother and relatives of the young man should stir themselves and brides, and the mutual friends of the two parties should carry on messages between themselves.^[8] It is noted in the Harṣacarita that, generally, the high-born maidens got married according to their parent’s choice. Mention may be made in this connection that Rājyaśrī was ready to marry Grahavarman with respect to the decision of her father and mother. In Rājyaśrī’s marriage, her father and mother had played most prominent roles and there was not any opinion from her. But at that time, the family background of a girl or a boy was always noticed very carefully. If anyone was born in a glorious family, it was believed, that it was her or his pleasure. By the words of Yaśomatī it is known that she was born in a family “rendered glorious by dharma.”^[9] Again, woman was seen as firm and truthful to marry only her beloved one at that time. This fact is apparent in the character of devī Sarasvatī^[10] who loved the king Dadhīca only.

It further appears from certain words in the Harṣacarita that Yaśomatī’s father was a mighty warrior and that her parents were living at the time of her death.^[11] Again, we have seen the firm and truthful love of a girl in goddess Sarasvatī’s character. When king Dadhīca had appointed Mālatī as a messenger to propose his love, Sarasvatī handled it very tactfully. She did not answer directly but expressed her feelings very firmly.^[12] It is evident that she was very honest about her love and nature.

Footnotes and references:

[1]:

Manusaṃhitā,IX.3

[2]:

Ibid.,III.259

[3]:

yathaivatmā tathā putraḥputrena duhitā samā, Ibid.,IX.130

[4]:

seyaṃ sarvābhibhāvinī śokāgnerdāhaśaktiryadapatyatve samāne’pi jātāyāṃ duhitari dūyante santaḥ, Harṣacarita, IV.p.68

[5]:

purā kila bhagavānsvalokamadhitiṣṭhanparameṣṭhī.......brahmodyāḥ kathāḥ……vidyāgoṣṭhīrbhāvayankadācidāsañcakre…….bhagavati kumārī…., Ibid.,I.p.2-3

[6]:

iyaṃ naḥ svasā bālā ca vahuduḥkhakheditā ca, Ibid.,VIII.p.140

[7]:

bhagavatī kumārī devī sarasvatī śrutvā jahāsa, Ibid.,I.p.3

[8]:

tasya varane mātāpitaraṃ sambandhināśca prayaterena mitrāṇi ca gṛhitavākyānyau’- bhayasamvaddhāni, Kāmasūtra,p.185

[9]:

dharmadhavale kule jātā, Harṣacarita,V.p.30

[10]:

Ibid.,I.p.60-64

[11]:

[a] vīrajā vīrajāyā bīrajananī ca mādṛśī….., Ibid.,V.p.85 [b] amba, tāta, na paśyataṃ pāpāṃ paralokaprasthitāṃ mām…..…., Ibid.

[12]:

sakhi mālati,….sā na kācidyā na bhavasi me svasā sakhī praṇayinī prānasamā ca..….ayi, na śaknomi bahu bhāṣitum.…gṛhyantāmamī prāṇāḥ ……, Ibid.,I.p.16