4.1. Summary of Kāma-sūtra Book 5: Pāradārika

[Full title: Kāma-sūtra Adhikaraṇa V—Pāradārika (pāradārikam)]

The fifth book of Kāmasūtra is named Pāradārikam or about the wives of other man. This book has divided in six chapters and eleven prakaraṇas.

The first chapter comprises of four prakaraṇas, of which the first is on the characteristic natures of men and women. First, a man must think and examine about the possibility of acquisition, fitness for cohabitation, fore coming effects, dangers etc. happening after the union with women. If someone attracted in a women who is even a wife of other men, he should make advances in her. Otherwise, the desire will transform to a dangerous level and it will negatively affect to his physical body. There are ten characteristic stages of development of desire given here. They are; love at first sight, attachment of mind and heart, stimulation of imagination, broken sleep, weight loss, sensual revulsion, and removal of shame, madness, fainting and death respectively^[1]. According to the earlier authorities on the subject, one should examine the disposition, truthfulness, purity, will of a young woman and measure the violence of one’s own passion^[2].

Vātsyāyana says:

“A woman’s nature can be known from the indices of seduction, by which she reveals her behavior and tendency to unfaithfulness and sexual union”^[3].

According to Goṇikāputra,

“A woman loves any handsome man she sees and in the same way a man loves a beautiful woman. But after some consideration, the matter gores no farther”^[4].

Although the desire is similar for both, it is peculiar in the woman. She loves without consider to right or wrong and does not try to gain over a man simply for the attainment of some particular purpose. Moreover, by the very nature of woman, they resist a man who makes advances to her, even if she desires to respond^[5]. But with a man he is just opposite of this. He will think all the causes and effects before making alliances with a woman of other man. Even if he is ready for contact with women, by thinking the dangers himself, control his desire and return from it^[6].

By concluding this portion, it is said a commonly seen factor that:

“A man does not care for what is easily gained and he desires only a thing which cannot be obtained without difficulty”^[7].

The next prakaraṇa is about the reasons for rejecting the men by women. There are twenty-five reasons which a woman does not desire another man. They are: love for her husband, regarding children, she has passed the stage, she has troubles, unable to get away, if she is invited to, without the proper forms she get angry, she cannot imagine being with him by thinking he is inscrutable, she fears he may withdraws her, she is nervous of thinking that he does not conceal his signals, his affection with friends, thinking his advances are just a tease, diffident of thinking how handsome he is, she fears she is a “doe”, the hind fears sexual ardor, she distrusts a citizen who is too skillful in erotic technique, the thought of having once lived with him on friendly terms only, contempt of his want of knowledge of the world, distrust of his low character, he is stupid because he does not understand when he is given a sign, for elephant woman, a hare man is insufficient out of compassion, she fears to hurt him, she refuse stating her own defects, fear of discovery, disillusion at seeing his gray hair chastity and the thought that he has too much regard for morality^[8]. It is said from the very beginning itself, the man should endeavor to remove whichever of these causes for rejection defects in his own situation^[9].

The next prakaraṇa gives a list of the characteristics of men who generally obtain success with women. It is twenty-three in number. They are as follows: the men who knows Kāmasūtra or the erotic science, skilled in storytelling, he has been known by the women since childhood, a man in the prime of youth, who can gain her trust by taking part her in such things as games, who carries out the commands of women, who have good conversational skill, a man who does what the woman likes, who used to be the messenger of another man, who is sought by a woman of highest class than the man, one who secretly involved with her girlfriend, who is famous for his luck in love, who grown up with her, a sexy neighbor, sexy servant, the husband of foster sister, newly engaged groom, a man who is generous and interested in picnics, theatrical plays etc., who is proud as a bull in his sexual act, impetuous man, brave man, a man who surpasses her husband in culture, aspect and qualities, and a man who dresses and lives well^[10].

The last prakaraṇa of this chapter is on characteristics of the women who are easily gained over. They are: the women who stand at the door of house, who are always looking out on the street, who sit conversing in the neighbor’s house, who stares constantly, a female messenger, woman who looks at sideways, a woman who has been supplanted by a co-wife for no cause, women who hates her husband or she is hated by him, who lacks restraint, a women who has no children, who is very much fond of society, who is apparently very affectionate with her husband, the wife of an actor, a widow, a women who fond of enjoyments, the wife of a man with many younger brothers, a vain woman, a woman who is proud of her skills and distressed by her husband’s foolishness, lack of distinction or greediness, a woman who has been married in her childhood to a rich man and she grows up not liking him, she desires a man possessing a disposition, talents and wisdom matching to her tastes, a woman who is slighted by her husband without any cause, who is not respected by the women of the same rank or beauty as herself, a traveler’s wife, the wife of a jeweler, a jealous woman, a covetous woman, immoral woman, barren woman, lazy woman, cowardly woman, humpbacked woman, dwarfish woman, deformed woman, vulgar woman, ill-smiling woman, sick woman and old woman^[11].

By concluding the chapter, discussed topic has summarized thus;

“Desire is something which springs from nature and is increased by art and from which all danger is taken away by wisdom becomes firm and secure. A clever man, depending upon his ability and observing carefully the ideas and thoughts of women and removing the causes of their turning away from men is generally successful with them”^[12].

The second chapter has two prakaraṇas. Of which, the first prakaraṇa is about the ways of becoming intimate with women.

It has said by the earlier experts on the topic that:

“A man can gain over virgins easily through his own efforts. But it is not much easy to gain other men’s wife without depending a messenger”.

But Vātsyāyana opines that whenever it is possible a man should always act himself in such matters, and it is only when such is impracticable or impossible that female messengers should be employed^[13]. When the man makes advances by himself who must achieve intimacy from the very beginning in the following ways. The man should arrange to be seen by her either on a natural or on a contrived opportunity. A natural occasion may occur when one of them goes to the house of other and a contrived occasion might occur when they meet either at the house of a friend, relative, minister, doctor, at a wedding, sacrifice, festival, disaster, picnic or such other occasions^[14]. When they do meet, the man should observe her to understand mind through some signals and techniques by himself^[15]. After that, as he became more intimate with her, he should place in her charge some kind of deposit or trust and take away from it a small portion at a time, or he may give her some fragrant substances or betel nuts to be kept for him by her. Then, he should arrange for her to meet his own wives and engage in confidential chat, sitting together by them. If she wishes to need ornaments or such items, he should arrange her goldsmith, jeweler, and basket maker, dyer in indigo or saffron and so forth of his contact. Whenever she wants something done, or wants some object or something requiring a certain skill, he shows her that himself has the plan, the resources, the experience, the means and the intelligence for it. He should hold discussions with her in company with other people, and they should talk of the doings and sayings of other persons, and examine different things like ornaments, precious stones and so forth. On such occasions, he should show her certain things with the values of which she may be unacquainted and if she begins to dispute with him about the things or value, he should not contradict her, but point out that he agrees with her in everyday^[16].

The last prakaraṇa of this chapter is on making advances with the woman. After a lady has become acquainted with the man through the above mentioned signals, gestures and techniques, he should try to gain her over as the rules mentioned in the third book of Kāmasūtra. But, here the man makes advances to other men’s wives in the same way though quite blatantly, because these women have made love. When the intentions of the girl are known and her bashfulness put aside he should begin to make use of her money and an interchange of clothes, rings and flowers should be made. When the man is going for drink parties, he should ask her for the flower in her hair or the flower in her hand. He whittles away her fear by making more and more advances to her. By degrees get her to go with him to some lonely place and there he should embrace, kiss, touch and press her private body parts. These are briefly about the advances^[17].

By concluding the chapter, some advices are given;

“A man should never pursue one woman in a place where he is pursuing another. But after he has succeeded with the first, and enjoyed her for a considerable time, he can keep her affections by giving her presents that she likes and then commence making up to another woman. The man should not pursue any woman, even if she is ready in a place where her husband has been seen to stray toward another woman”^[18].

The third chapter of this book is on examining the woman’s mind and testing her feelings. If the woman does not reveal her intensions to the man, he must win her through a female messenger. The women having once turned down his advances and then making union with him should be known to be divided in her mind and she should be won over gradually. If she does not accept his advances but lets him see her again when she dresses very carefully and comes to see him well dressed in a place alone, he may enjoy her with a little forcibly^[19]. If she has tolerated several of his advances and does not give herself in for long, is a coquet and can be won by breaking intimacy, because human mind is inconstant. A woman avoids a man who is making advances and neither comes to meet him nor refuses him; it is because of her pride in him and in herself. She can be won only with a difficulty, through great intimacy. She will be seduced with the help of an insightful female messenger who knows the vulnerable spots of that woman. If the woman refuses him roughly when he makes advances, he should scorn her, but even if she acts roughly, he can win her if she shows her love^[20]. A women who tolerates or accepts his touch, but does not understands his motifs and remains divided mind, she can be won by patience and constancy. When the women is sleeping close to him, he should place his hand over her body, she also overlooks this gesture as if sleeping. On the other hand, she is infact a waned on such an occasion and has removed his out-stretched hand, might be further willing for his approach. This may develop to embracing while sleeping. If she will not put up with that and gets up, on the next day she acts in her usual manner, it is understood that she is willing. If she does not let him see her, he can win her through messenger. If after having disappeared for some time, she again appears and behaves with him as usual, it should be consider that she would not object to being united with him^[21]. When a woman gives a man an opportunity and makes her own love manifest to him, he should proceed to enjoy her. Then a description signs of a woman manifesting her love are given here^[22].

The chapter has concluded in five verses.

“A man should first achieve intimacy, then start chat and mixed with conversation and in course of it she should exchange signals with her. If he sees that the signals are being responded, then he should fearlessly advance her. A woman displaying her feelings through signals, advances at the very first sight should quickly approach the man. In the same way, a lascivious woman, who when addressed in loving words replies openly in words expressive of her love, should be considered as she is willing. For a woman who is patient and not bold, and who is watchful, this is the subtle method described here by using it the ladies are definitely be won”^[23].

The fourth chapter is about the duties of a female messenger. It is known from the previously discussed topics that how a female messenger plays important role in between the meeting of couples. Here the duties and the ways of convincing other man’s wife by a female messenger sent by the man are described.

A female messenger should act as favor to the woman through good character while going to convince her. She charms the woman by showing pictorial stories printed on cloth, learn her the tips to become lucky in love, gossiping about people, reciting stories about men who have seduced other men’s wives, and praising her beauty, skill, intelligence and character. The messenger should lead her to the discussion by saying drawbacks of her husband in sexual energy, jealousy, wickedness, ingratitude, stinginess, fickleness etc. If the wife gets disturbed, the messenger should penetrate her mind by dealing with it^[24].

Goṇikāputra observes:

“The female messenger should make an approach when she finds that the woman has made her first venture and has a delicate nature”^[25].

She should describe the accomplishments of the man, his suitability for her, and his craving to her. When the messenger finds that the woman is convinced, she should come to her point in a devious manner. Then, the female messenger should narrate her about the famous stories of Ahalyā, Avimāraka, Śakuntalā and similar other lovers pertaining to this world. After that, she should start to describe the qualities of the man^[26]. After observing the signals and facial expressions from the woman, the messenger should dictate the earlier experiences of the woman with the man, love stories, good qualities of man etc^[27]. Here, Auddhālaki opines; The task of a female messenger is impossible if they have neither spoken nor seen each other. Bābhravya says; However, even if they do not know one another, indirect signals may arouse interest. According to Goṇikāputra; Even if both of them are not familiar, but have established contacts by mutual signals, activity by the messenger is possible.

By consolidating these different opinions of earlier exponents, Vātsyāyana states:

“The female messenger’s business may be carried out without their knowing each other and without having seen what they look like”^[28].

Without any direct contact, the men and women who wish to meet, they exchange rare things such as betel, saffron, flower garlands, ornaments and beautiful clothes as a sign of their love through the messenger. A very detailed description on such things is given here^[29]. Then, two different opinions by the scholars Bābhravya and Goṇikāputra on the meeting location of the lovers as described by the messenger have been given. On this, Vātsyāyana opines the women’s own house, where he knows the exit and entrances and where it is possible to devise in advance counter-measures against potential dangers, his arrival and departure are secured even at an unpredictable time and the meeting is reliable and easy to arrange^[30]. Thus, after describing the general duties and characteristics of female messengers, it is then said the eight types of messengers with definitions to each. They are; independent messenger, specialized messenger, letter carrier, acting on her own authority, messenger to an idiot, messenger sent the wife, mute messenger and the messenger as ungraspable as the wind^[31].

The chapter has been concluded thus; widows, fortune-tellers, servant girls, beggar women and women artists will quickly carry out the task of a messenger. Her duties are inspiring hatred of the husband, describing his sexual charms and various enjoyments of sex etc. The messenger, through her skill with words, can take even an unintended meaning uttered by mistake and twist it right around^[32].

Chapter five is on the sexual life of a person who is in power or royal positions. For kings, ministers and other such people, it is not possible to visit others houses for their sexual pleasure, since the people, observing them will imitate their behavior.

Of this point of view it is said that;

“The three worlds watch the sunrise and so they too rise; then they watch the sun moving and they too start to imitate”^[33].

Therefore, such persons should not act any improper activities in public, since it will reprehensible for one in their position and would be desiring of censure. If in several cases, it becomes unavoidable, they should take recourse to some tricks. This is the topic discussed in this chapter.

The head of the village or son of superintend of farming, it is easier to get village women and libertines call such women as adulteresses. One can approach and engage in sexual contact when those women are in various jobs like; storing harvest in the barns, going to seek provisions, cleaning the house, working in the fields, patching garments, re-stitching bark garments, crushing or carrying materials etc^[34]. The officer for maintenance of cows can do the same with milkmaids. The officer in charge of threads can engage in sex with widows, orphans and the nuns. While taking night-rounds, the city police chief can approach the women roaming in the city, because the officer knows where they are vulnerable. The sales officer gets opportunity to sex with women coming for sales and purchases in the market^[35].

Then the secret advances of royal men like king or prince with the assistance of a royal maid messenger is described. Where, it is said about the occasions and ways for convincing other men’s wives for the royal people. If the women is not agree, the royal men comes to her himself, conciliates her with courtesies and convince her^[36]. If her husband seeks the king’s benevolence, his wives brought into the royal harem all the time, to get him accustomed to it, and the royal maid should make advances in the women. The female beggar approaches the wife of a man who is facing misfortune or is fearful from the king and tells to convince one of the approachable and favorite wives of the king. When she enters the palace, the maid should arrange her to the king. Likewise, those who want a job foe livelihood, who are oppressed by ministers, who have forcibly captured, who are weak dealings of business, who are not content with whatever the possess for the pleasure, those who want the favor of the king, those who seeks a rank in the royalty, who are harassed by their own relatives, who wish to harass their own relatives etc. will arrange for their wives to be incited to sleep with the king as described before^[37]. If the royal men desire a woman who is loved by other, she will be arrested for any offence and she is appointed as a maid for his pleasures^[38]. It is said that the king do not enter others house directly for sexual contact with the women, and some examples have provided about the brutal death occurred to some royal persons by acting this^[39]. Then, several customs related with the king’s pleasures with other men’s wives are described here, which are existed in some regions^[40].

The chapter ends with the quotation:

“A king who takes pleasure in the welfare of his people should absolutely not use these devices, one who suppresses the band of six enemies (lust, anger, covetousness, vanity, lack of judgment and avarice) within him conquers the earth too^[41].

The chapter six or the ending chapter of this book comprises of two prakaraṇas. Of which, the first is on the conduct of the women in the harem.

The women of the harem is carefully guarded, so they will not get chance to meet or interact with other men and they may not satisfied with one husband who shared by many wives in common. For the satisfaction of their overflowing sexual thirst, they are usually forced to do sex with the people of their own gender. For example; they would decorate a girlfriend, a foster-sister or a female servant as like a man and using artificial penis made of roots, rootlets or fruits like cucumber, gourd etc. or such other things resembling the shape of penis and satisfy their desire. They also interested to sleep with boys who do not appear to be men^[42]. Likewise, men also if they cannot get any sexual action are said to relieve their desire in things other than the vagina, in creatures other than human species, in female statues and by masturbation^[43]. Sometimes, citizens are dressed as women and enter with the maidservants into the harem. Maidservants, nurses etc. will help them to enter and exit from the palace safely^[44].

Vātsyāyana opines:

“As for the citizen himself, he had better not enter a harem, even though it may be easily accessible, because of the numerous disasters to which he may be exposed there. In case of unavoidable or emergency situations he can enter by following several ways and conditions”^[45].

Then, it is depicted a description of a citizen himself entering to the palace for uniting with women. Some cunning ways of entering the harem also described here^[46]. Occasionally, a magic trick named “puṭāpuṭayoga” explained and it is said, this trick is useful to enter the palace unseen. The preparation method of this medicine also provided herewith. Along with this, some other direct ways for entering the harem, like the special occasions, such as festivals, when things are carried out, when king has gone away for journey etc^[47]. This prakaraṇa concludes by the explanation of various methods for entering harem existed in different regions^[48].

The second prakaraṇa or the end of the fifth book is on guarding the wives. It is said that, for the above-discussed reasons one should guard their own wives. According to the ancient authorities, generally the guards appointed in the harem should be those who have passed the test of sex (Kāmopadhā).

Goṇikāputra views:

“Kings should appoint such men in the harem as may have had their freedom from sexual desire, fears and avarice are well tested and approved”.

Here Vātsyāyana adds:

“Virtue prevents treachery. But man will abandon even virtue because of their fear. So the guards should be tested and proved by the test of virtue (Dharmopadhā) too along with the tests^[49].

Bābhravīyas say:

“The harem women also tested and proved their purity and state of mind as like the guards”.

In this opinion, Vātsyāyana states that young women easily let themselves be seduced by wicked men. This is why decent people should not be too hasty in accusing them of loose living”^[50].

There are several causes of the destruction of a woman’s chastity has provided for restricting them. They are; too much gossiping with ladies, absence of restraint, loose habits of her husband, unrestrained access to men, continues and long absence of husband, living in a foreign country, the loss of her means of subsistence, close contact with wanton women and the jealousy of her husband^[51].

The book summarizes with a verse;

“This book was undertaken in order to guard wives, for the benefit of men; the arrangements should not be learned in order to corrupt the people”^[52].

Footnotes and references:

[1]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 2-5

[2]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 6

[3]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 7

[4]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 8

[5]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 9-11

[6]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 13-15

[7]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 16

[8]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 17-42

[9]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 43-49

[10]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 50

[11]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 51-54

[12]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 1. 55-56

[13]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 2. 1-2

[14]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 2. 4-6

[15]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 2. 7-8

[16]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 2. 9-18

[17]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 2. 19-24

[18]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 2. 25-27

[19]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 3. 2-4

[20]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 3. 5-9

[21]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 3. 10-15

[22]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 3. 16-23

[23]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 3. 24-28

[24]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 4. 2-6

[25]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 4. 9

[26]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 4. 10-15

[27]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 4. 31

[28]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 4. 32-35

[29]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 4. 36-41

[30]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 4. 42-44

[31]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 4. 45-62

[32]:

Kāmasūtra, 5, 4, 63-66

[33]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 5. 1-2

[34]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 5. 5-6

[35]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 5. 7-10

[36]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 5. 11-20

[37]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 5. 21-25

[38]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 5. 26

[39]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 5. 28-29

[40]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 5. 30-35

[41]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 5. 37

[42]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 1-3

[43]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 5

[44]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 6-9

[45]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 10-12

[46]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 13-20

[47]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 21-27

[48]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 29-38

[49]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 39-42

[50]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 43-44

[51]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 45

[52]:

Kāmasūtra, 5. 6. 48