Pasuram 8.2.1

Tamil text and transliteration:

நங்கள் வரிவளையாய் அங்காளோ நம்முடை ஏதலர் முன்பு நாணி
நுங்கட்கு யான்ஒன்று உரைக்கும்மாற்றம் நோக்குகின்றேன் எங்கும் காணமாட்டேன்
சங்கம் சரிந்தன சாய்இழந்தேன் தடமுலை பொன்நிறமாய்த் தளர்ந்தேன்
வெங்கண் பறவையின் பாகன் எங்கோன் வேங்கடவாணனை வேண்டிச்சென்றே. (2)

naṅkaḷ varivaḷaiyāy aṅkāḷō nammuṭai ētalar muṉpu nāṇi
nuṅkaṭku yāṉoṉṟu uraikkummāṟṟam nōkkukiṉṟēṉ eṅkum kāṇamāṭṭēṉ
caṅkam carintaṉa cāyiḻantēṉ taṭamulai poṉniṟamāyt taḷarntēṉ
veṅkaṇ paṟavaiyiṉ pākaṉ eṅkōṉ vēṅkaṭavāṇaṉai vēṇṭicceṉṟē. (2)

English translation of verse 8.2.1:

Ye, my mates, bedecked with bangles nice,
I wish I could in you confide and freely tell
What unto hostile elders I feel shy to disclose,
And yet, words I find not, my thoughts to spell;
My Lord at Tiruvēṅkaṭam Who conducts the bird
With hot eyes, I desired to see and ḻo! lose I did
My complexion fine, down the wrists my bangles slid,
With the colour off my breasts, I just became jaded.

Notes:

(i) Finding the Nāyakī off colour and debilitated, her mates enquired of her what was going wrong with her. The Nāyakī felt shy to disclose her love-sickness but her friendly mates could put her at ease. Even then, words failed her and, at long last, she gave out the genesis of her malady, as above.

(ii) The bangles would not rest on the wrists of the Nāyakī, grown gaunt and emaciated, while the mates had their bangles, in tact. Even as Lakṣmaṇa, whose grief over Sītā’s abduction, stemming from a stinging sense of unwariness on his part, was even greater than Śrī Rāma’s, steadied himself so as to be fit to serve Śrī Rāma all right, the mates here had to keep themselves fit, in order to bring the Nāyakī round, instead of lamenting along with her.

(iii) The elders have absolute faith in the Lord’s grace, which is bound to lead them on to the final goal without fail. They would, therefore, counsel the Nāyakī to coolly await the descent of the Lord’s grace at His sweet will, without getting jittery. This kind of advice is, however, unpalatable to the Nāyakī, who is all agog for the quick consummation of her inordinate God-love and hence, the elders are deemed by her to be hostile. And now, hostility is of two kinds, the inner and the outer, as brought out in aphorism 139 of ‘Ācārya Hṛdayam’. Those, who employ ‘means’ other than the Lord Himself to attain Him, are regarded as the external enemies while those who look upon God as the ‘Ready Means’, the ‘Siddhopāya’, and yet remain opposed to getting into a state of flutter and throbbing for quick consummation, on the ground that it militates against the creed of ‘Pāratantrya’ (exclusive dependence on the Lord), are categorised by the Nāyakī as the internal enemies.

(iv) Garuḍa, the hot-eyed bird:

Garuḍa, being hot-eyed, is, at times, favourable, and unfavourable at other times, depending upon the particular mood of the God-lover. This mighty bird could quell the ungodly with blistering looks and fly the Lord unerringly down to where the Nāyakī is eagerly awaiting His arrival. The Nāyakī would then thank Garuḍa for his good offices. The same Nāyakī would, however, speak disparagingly of the bird, when he takes away the Lord from her and leaves her sadly alone, as in her present state of ‘Viśleṣa’ (separation). This is just like the Gopis (the damsels of Virundāvan) dubbing the saintly Akrūra as the one with a cruel heart, who separated them from Kṛṣṇa and took Him to Kaṃsa’s citadel (Mathurā)—‘Akrūraḥ Krūrahrudayaḥ’.

(v) The Lord has some down all the way from Heaven to Mount Tiruvēṅkatam, to be beheld by us all. He has not come to the Nāyakī and so, she thought of going up to this holy centre, specially courted by Him. But these are the changes instantly wrought in her—the sliding down of the bangles, loss of complexion and all that.