Song 25

(Ahirī rāga-Diśā)

1. Mother Śacī heard the rumor that her son would accept sannyāsa.

2. It was as if the sky had fallen on her head. Her heart overcome, Śacī fell unconscious.

3. She became like a wild woman. She went everywhere in the four directions. Everyone she saw in Navadvīpa she asked about that rumor.

4. She became convinced. Her son would accept sannyāsa. Approaching Lord Viśvambhara, she sighed and said:

5. "You are my son. You are the only eye in my body. If I cannot see You, I will see only blinding darkness.

6. "From the mouths of the people I heard my dear son will accept sannyāsa. This news is like the sky falling and breaking my head.

7. "I am all alone. I have no husband. I have no one but You. Forgetting everyone, I gaze only on Your face.

8. "Your eyes are the lamps of my family. Everyone in Navadvīpa tells me: ‘You are fortunate to have such a son.’

9. "Don’t destroy my pride in my son. If You do not stay, my whole world will be burned to ashes.

10. "When they see my face, everyone thinks I am fortunate. If You go, when they see me everyone will turn his face away.

11. "You are my son. You are my great treasure in this world of birth and death. If I cannot see You, my whole world will become a jungle.

12. "If You leave me and go away, I will become unfortunate, filled with sorrows. I will drown in the Gaṅgā. I will kill myself.

13. "How will Your soft feet walk on many journeys? When You are hungry and thirsty from whom will You beg food?

14. "How will Your body soft like butter bear the burning sunshine? That though fills me with sorrow.

15. "O my son, my golden Nimāi. if You leave me, where will You go?

16. "While You are here I will drink poison and die. Then with my ears I will never hear that You have accepted sannyāsa.

17. "Dear son, first I will die, and then You may go to another country. I will enter a fire and die in its flames.

18. "You are merciful to every living entity. Only to me You are not merciful. Why did the creator Brahmā give me such a terrible fate? I do not know.

19. "Son, YOu are handsome, virtuous, and righteous. You are glorious in the three worlds. Your appearance charms all beautiful women. His hair is graceful.

20. "Decorated with jasmine flowers, Your garceful hair falls upon Your shoulders. When I see Him, Your appearance cools the burning sufferings of my life.

21. "Surrounded by friends and a book in Your left hand, You walk on the path. When I see You in this way my heart becomes pleasantly cool.

22. "Dear son, will You leave all Your friends? You will not chant the holy names with Your friends?

23. "You will not gloriously dance? Seeing You, the whole world becomes enchanted.

24. "You are the life of Your dear friends. Your acceptance of sannyāsa will kill them all.

25. "I will die. Viṣṇupriyā will die. Their hearts broken, all the devotees will also die.

26-28. "Murāri, Mukunda Datta, Śrīvāsa, Advaita Acārya, Haridāsa, Gadādhara, Narahari, Śrī Raghunandana, Vāsudeva Ghoṣa, Vakreśvara, Śrī Rāma, and the other devotees will all die of they cannot see You. My dear son, please see all these truths and stop Your heart from thinking of sannyāsa.

29. "You are a son without a father. Twice I arranged for Your marriage. I still have not seen any children.

30. "Sannyāsa is not for a young man. Stay as a householder and perform Your duties.

31. "Lust, anger, greed, and illusion are all powerful in youth. How will You be successful in sannyāsa?

32. "Controlling the heart is not easy in Kalī-yuga. A restless heart destroys sannyāsa.

33. "A householder is not accountable for sinful thoughts. But in sannyāsa one’s thoughts must be always pure."

34. Hearing Śacī-devī speak these words, Lord Gaura spoke these words of enlightenment to His mother: