Who Will Feel Separation?

In a lecture on Vilāpa-kusumāñjali in 1991, Śrīla Gurudeva asked the devotees present, “Who will feel separation? Only those special devotees who feel deep gratitude to their gurudeva–who are greatly indebted to him and who have served him with intimacy–will feel separation. The mood, ‘I am so fallen and my Śrīla Gurudeva is so great,’ will not enter the thoughts of such devotees. They will have no mood of awe and reverence for him. If they do, they will not be able to cry for him.

“Separation from gurudeva is felt on various levels. When we consider his mercy, magnanimity and greatness, a particular type of mood arises within us. But when we remember how close and dear he was to us, and when we remember his affectionate dealings with us, we are able to cry so much for him. Mother Yaśodā cries for Kṛṣṇa more than Śrī Nanda Bābā does, but the gopīs cry even more than Mother Yaśodā because their relationship with Kṛṣṇa is more intimate. We should also have such an intimate relation with Śrī Kṛṣṇa, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Śrī Rūpa Mañjarī, Śrī Rūpa Gosvāmī, our own śrīla gurudeva, and all our guru-varga (superiors). Only then can we cry for their mercy.

“If we have not developed an intimate relationship with our śrīla gurudeva, how will we ever be able to understand our relationship with Śrī Kṛṣṇa, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Śrī Rūpa Mañjarī and others? Our progress in bhajana depends upon our inner closeness with śrīla gurudeva and the intimate services that we perform for him. If we are able to cry for our śrīla gurudeva, only then can we cry for Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī also. On the other hand if we cannot cry for our gurudeva, then how will it be possible to cry for Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī? That is why our crying for gurudeva should be heartfelt.”