I Love You Always and Ever

It was past six in the evening when Aparajita returned from the College. Tired as she was, she wanted to take a bath and refresh herself. As she walked towards the bath-room she saw her mother praying with closed eyes at the Tulsi Brindavan in the -yard.

Coming out of the bath-room, Aparajita saw her mother still deeply lost in prayerful meditation.

“Mother” she called.

Meenakshamma did not respond.

“Mother” Aparajita called again and went near her. Meenakshamma opened her eyes, surprised. “Ah! Have you returned from the college? I see you have also finished your bath. Wait, I’ll get your coffee” she said and went in with hurried steps.

Aparajita observed that her mother’s eyes were moist with tears. She went in and sat on the sofa. She wondered why her mother was sad and distressed.

Ranga Rao had three daughters. The eldest was Aparajita. She was an M.Sc., and was working as Lecturer in a local College. She was 25 years old. Dharani was the second. She was in III B.Com Course. Girija the youngest was in her second year Intermediate class. Ranga Rao had a flourishing business in the coffee industry. He built a decent house and deposited handsome amounts in the bank for the marriages of his three daughters. Meenakshamma was an ideal house-wife.

Aparajita came to know that her father was looking for a bride-groom for her. She quietly told her mother that she was not willing to marry yet. Meenakshamma conveyed the news to her husband.

“Why don’t you want to marry?” Ranga Rao flared up at her the next day.

“My friend, Sridhar is an engineer. He is in America now in a good job. He will return to India in a couple of years. He will marry me and take me with him” said Aparajita meekly.

“Is that so! Who will not be happy if an Engineer wants to be my son-in-law? By the way what is his parentage? What are his other particulars like sect, gothram etc?” asked Ranga Rao.

“He doesn’t know details about his parentage and community. He was brought up in an orphanage.”

‘Tut! Tut! Do you want to marry an orphan?” He shouted in anger.

Meenakshi trembled as her husband was given to mad and angry bouts. Dharani and Girija stood behind the door watching the scene silently.

Ranga Rao’s word was a law in the house. He was calm and composed so long as he was obeyed. He could not tolerate disobedience from anyone.

“If you marry a pauper and an orphan, do you think your sisters’ marriages will take place?” shouted Ranga Rao at his eldest daughter.

“If you have such a doubt, please perform the marriages of sisters first. I can wait for any length of time” replied Aparajita firmly.

“That means you have decided to marry the pauper!”

“Yes father, I cannot change my mind. Don’t think of finding any grooms for me.”

“You there! Why do you stand like a statue when your daughter talks rotten nonsense like this?” Ranga Rao hissed at his wife.

“Daddy”

“You will become sensible if your mother is given thrashings, I should have got you married long ago in your teens and avoided this disgrace” shouted Ranga Rao raising his arm at his wife.

Aparajita held her father’s arm. He left the place in a huff.

“I can’t live in this house any longer” said Aparajita and started packing her clothes. Meenakshamma entreated her daughter to calm down and prevented Aparajita from leaving the house.

Ranga Rao stopped talking to his eldest daughter. He concluded that College and University studies had spoiled his eldest daughter. He celebrated the marriages of his other two daughters without completing their studies.

Dharani and Girija developed hatred towards Aparajita. They married unwillingly not being able to disobey their father. They were both visiting their parents at festival times and other occasions. They nurtured a grouse against their sister for they had to stop their studies midway and get married.

Two years went by Sridhar did not return to India. Dharani and Girija derived pleasure by making fun of Aparajita’s love for Sridhar who did not care for her.

But Aparajita’s faith in Sridhar was not shaken.

In the beginning, he wrote letters regularly. After six months, there was a silence. No letters. No telephone calls. Yet, she was not disturbed though she could not guess the reason for his silence. She was sure he would suddenly make his appearance with extended arms calling her “Appu! “Yes, he would. But when? She did not know.

Two more years rolled by. Aparajita patiently waited for Sridhar’s return confidently.

“Appu!”, “Appu!” her mother called.

Aphrajita was, shaken out of her reverie.

“Here’s your coffee”

Aparajita took the coffee cup from her mother. Meenakshamma sat close to her daughter in the sofa.

Aparajita guessed that her mother wanted to say something.

“What is it mother, what do you want to say?”

“For how long will you wait for Sridhar?”

It was the first time her mother asked this question during the past four years.

“Why mother? Why do you ask me this question?”

“Please tell me” said her mother in a      soft voice.

“Any length of time, I guess”

Her mother moved closer to Aparajita and said lovingly. “Here is Sridhar’s letter.”

She took out a paper packet from her blouse and put in her daughter’s hand.

“Appu! Poor Sridhar has been writing to you every month. But your father has been destroying the letters and prevented me from telling you the truth. I preserved the torn pieces of his latest letter.”

“Has he been writing to me?” Aparajita was excited. She was in a great joy and ran to her room with the torn pieces. She tried to put the pieces together in vain. With difficulty she could make out that he was coming to India. When, she could not know for certain. May be that day.

It was nearing seven in the evening. She collected her vanity bag. “Mother! I am going to meet Sridhar!” she said in great excitement and ran out. She rushed to the Airport, to the Railway station and the bus station. She returned crest-fallen at dead of the night.

Her father confronted her in the hall “Where had you been at this hour of the night?” he asked her shaking with rage.

“Why did you tear into pieces the letters?” asked Aparajita fearlessly.

Ranga Rao was shocked at her daughter’s audacity. He guessed that his wife revealed the truth to Aparajita. He rushed to his wife to strike her.

“Dad-!” cried Aparajita and held his arm.

“Don’t step forward! The consequences will be disastrous” Aparajita said to him.         

To Ranga Rao his daughter now looked like Adishakti in all her divine rage.

He immediately went out of house.

“Appu! Appu! Sridhar came to our house for you, dear” said Meenakshamma softly, settling in the sofa beside her daughter.

“Should I believe my ears? Did Sridhar come? When? Where is he?”

“When Sridhar came, your father humiliated him and banged the door shut on his face.” I heard Sridhar say, Appu I have come for you! Come away with me! But I could do nothing. Sridhar stood at the door for a long time and left”.

“Didn’t you tell Sridhar that I went out to meet him?”

“I tried. But couldn’t. You don’t know how much I suffer for you. I can’t bear this any longer. I have no strength left to face the situation”.

“Mother! Let us get out of this house”

“Yes, but wait for a day. I am sure he would come for you again. Meenakshamma hid her head in her daughter’s lap and sobbed. She herself needed consolation.

Neeraja came to Aparajita the next morning.

Aparajita! I learn that Sridhar returned from abroad last night. I also learn that there was a Negress with him”.

Aparajita felt shocked at her friend’s words.

“Is it true?”

“Yes it is! My brother saw her holding Sridhar’s arm and they walked down the gangway at the airport.

Aparajita’s world broke into pieces at this news.

Her long wait for him, her faith in him, her conviction that she understood him --- all that were they all meaningless and hallow? ‘No! Not so’ protested a voice within. Yet tears rolled down her cheeks.

The black girl was heard addressing Sridhar as ‘My Sri’ … What did that mean? Her blood boiled at the thought that a Negro girl was close to Sridhar’s heart. However much she tried to forget the Negro girl’s image appeared before her, in her mind’s eye. One she had laughed away the words uttered by the people against Sridhar. Now their derision was echoing loudly in her cars. What was the truth?

Seven days passed. Sridhar did not turn up. She could not attend College. She was tossed about in a sea of agony and torture.

A week later, an auto stopped at Ranga Rao’s House. Sridhar stepped out of the auto, the black girl holding his arm.

“Appu!” exclaimed the Negro girl and rushed towards Aparajita. She shook Aparajita’s hand vigorously.

“Appu! You are so beautiful!” she exclaimed in English. “Sri told me he calls you Appu. I too will call you Appu! Any offence?” Said the Negro girl chatting away merrily.

Aparajita and Meenakshamma stood motionless while Ranga Rao fidgeted.

“My name is Gouri. Sridhar gave me this Telugu name. I love the name. Do you know why? Because I like Sridhar? No – I love him.”

Aparajita turned pink and pall by turns.

Gouri started off again. “Look Appu­ – I like India. It was Sridhar’s acquaintance that made me love India. Many rich and beautiful girls wanted to win Sridhar’s hand there in America. But he kept them at a distance. You know, why? Because he has you firmly in his heart. Though he was away from you for four years, his heart and soul were with you all the time. I marvel that love could be so deep and strong. That’s why I love Sri. I love your mother. I love your country. I love your motherland which gave birth to you. I love the earth, the air, and the Hills and the rivers, the temples and towers; everything in your country. Sri took me round your country. He has come to marry you and live here. I learnt what love is from you! I learnt that love is not carnal and that there is something sublime about it. I learnt this profound truth from Sri also. I am going to my country. I love my country and my countrymen. I want to tell you so much more but I am sorry I am unable to spell out. Appu! Good bye! Appu’s Mom! Good bye! Appu’s Papa good bye! I want to tell my people how much one should love one’s own country. I carry with me this great wealth of love given to me by Sri. Will you see me off at the airport? Appu! Won’t you?”

Gouri went on mixing up English and half-learnt Telugu in her characteristic manner with great spirit and passion. She held Aparajita’s hand and dragged her towards the waiting car.

Ranga Rao watched the scene speechless and open mouthed.

Meenakshamma shed tears of joy. She felt sad that Gouri was leaving so soon.

Aparajita ran towards Sridhar and held his arm tight.

The car left with Sridhar sitting in the middle flanked by Aparajita and Gouri.

* Translated from original Telugu by Dr. D. V. Lakshmi