The First Widow Marriage

RAO BAHADUR LATE K. VEERESALINGAM
(Translated from the original in Telugu by D. Venkata Rao)

[Rao Bahadur Kandukuri Veeresalingam Pantulu who hailed from Rajahmundry was a pioneer in social reform, as well as a great writer in Telugu. Along with a band of devoted workers, he performed the first widow marriage. The following article gives a very interesting account of the social conditions in Andhra Pradesh about ninety years ago. –EDITOR]

After advocating the urgency of widow marriages from the platform, in the press and publishing literature we resolved that we should perform some marriages and lead the way. For achieving this purpose myself, Sri N. Subba Rao Pantulu, K. Ramalinga Sastry, B. Gavarraju and A. Lakshminarasimham constituted ourselves into a Society. We took solemn oaths not to divulge anything even to our closest friends and formulated plans in strict secrecy. We held two meetings in the house of Sri A. Lakshminarasimham to know for certain who would attend the marriage ceremony and support us.

These efforts roused our opponents, who fearing that we were bent upon action and were not content with mere words, held meetings to think of ways and means to sabotage our endeavours. One day some orthodoxically inclined lay men and religious people held a meeting in the Markandeya temple. They decided beforehand to excommunicate me and threaten with social boycott all those who support widow marriages. They sent a gentleman to invite me to defend my views and contradict theirs. I learnt later that they plotted to beat me up when the meeting was over. Some students somehow got wind of this evil design and within half an hour the temple premises were filled with two hundred students. Many of them had lathis in their hands. Some of them pushed themselves forward, removed some gentlemen and surrounding me formed a cordon (protecting circle) around my person. As I had no knowledge of the evil designs of my opponents, then I thought that the students were unnecessarily rude. Unnerved by the large number of students armed with lathis, the evil-minded Brahmins, who were bent upon violence, melted away before sunset. The audience too, who were curious to hear the debate, left in disappointment.

My friend Sri K. Sundararamaiah was working in the newspaper office opposite the Markandeya temple. He observed the goings on in the temple from his office. When I came out he met me and told me that as soon as he heard of the conspiracy of the Brahmins, he kept in a state of readiness ten men so that they would go and promptly deal with them. From that day onwards feelings rose high in our town.

The Unrest

Many factors contributed to the unrest among the orthodox people from the day of the rneeting at the Markandeya temple. Inspired and encouraged by my talks students in increasing numbers came forward to marry widows and thus lead the way. Young widows also started hoping for a better future. In this connection let me narrate one incident at Rajahmundry which throws light on how people came to think on new lines.

There was an eminent astrologer, a Brahmin, who was eking his livelihood by conducting religious rites. His uncle’s daughter, a widow of only sixteen years, was also living with him under his guardianship. As she was very young she was dressing herself like any married woman wearing saris, blouses and bangles except for the ‘tilaca’ on her forehead. As our movement for widow marriage gripped the orthodox people with great panic, they hurriedly started performing the marriages of their sons against their will, fearing that otherwise they might marry widows. In the case of widows they shaved off their hair and forced them to wear white borderless saris. Our astrologer friend also went to the market and purchased a white sari for his cousin and asked her to wear it from that day.

Refusing to take it she said, “I have enough of saris. Please give this to sister-in-law.” Incensed at this he said, “Why do you ask me to give this sari suitable for widows to your sister-in-law?” She boldly replied, “Like your wife I am also shortly going to be a married lady. Then this sari will become useless for me.” Amazed at this, he ran to his caste people and narrated to them this incident. They consoled him and sent him home saying they would think of suitable action.

The girl was neither remarried nor her hair shaved off; she adamantly refused to submit herself to the indignity of making herself ugly. So her relations and the orthodoxy thought of a middle course to save their prestige. Our people accept even living in sin but reject the slightest deviation from tradition! Her people told her that she could enjoy sex stealthily but should not think of marriage! Caring only for sexual gratification, this girl took to the world’s most ancient profession and thus saved herself from ex-communication which would have been her fate if she married again!

The Concrete Steps

While our opponents were busy with shaving off the hair of widows, we were no less active in seeking out ways of rescuing them. Widows who had a little education wrote to me requesting me to save them from their miserable plight. We thought that if we made a beginning with the marriage of widows who had not reached the age of puberty soon widow marriages would become popular. People were ready for the marriage of such girls but none came forward to be the first. Every one said that he would follow suit if somebody took the plunge. It is natural to give up the idea if people involved in the first marriage faced difficulties; or to follow suit if everything went on well with the first marriage. We tried our best by holding confidential talks with them, arranging for the advice by their friends and writing very persuasive and convincing letters, of course in great secrecy.

As an instance of our endeavours I quote from a letter of Sri P. Venkatappaiah, then a student but a very helpful young man. He wrote a letter on 4-11-1881 from Kakinada whence he went to embark the ship to Madras to sit for his B. A. Examination. He later became Sirastadar in the Godavari district but now is no more.

“Friend,

I have spoken to P. Yeggenna garu. He is prepared to give his widowed sister in marriage to any promising youth (of his sect of course). He is also prepared to join the first batch if it consists of four or five matches. You may depend upon it he will not draw . I have secret information to the effect that his uncles and other elders put on the appearance of disapprobation, but they will eventually join our party. Please write immediately on the receipt of this letter to Mr. Yeggenna to go to you. He has promised to go and meet you and make all necessary arrangements after receiving a letter from you.

“I have also been able to secure a Madhwa man. He will marry a widow. He is about twenty-two years of age, passed the General Test and now is a teacher in the Primary School on a salary Rs. 15. If you write to him he will also go to you and propose what conditions he needs to be fulfilled. I know his circumstances are narrow.

“This morning I met Mr. Ramakrishnaiah. He made the same promises that he made to you. He asks us to be steady and persevere. He is very jealous judging from the talk afoot about him here. He holds his ground in spite of the malicious reproaches of his caste people and others of this place. Please be touching him up with an encouraging letter now and then.

“We shall take steamer in an hour or so.”

There are many such letters.

Sri D. Ramabrahmam, Deputy Tahsildar, Tiruvur (Krishna District) wrote to me that in his taluk there was a Brahmin widow of twelve and if I sent suitable men he would persuade her mother to send her to me. After some correspondence on this matter my friend from Tiruvur wrote on 5th November, 1881, thus:

“Your letters have reached me in time. As the mother of the young widow has left the village and gone to see her relatives, I could not talk to her and send you a reply earlier. I have just now talked to her. She promised to send her daughter to you as soon as you send your people here to fetch her. Please send trustworthy, upright and firm-minded people to escort the girl there. They should keep the thing as a profound secrecy. If they are hypocrites they are sure to frustrate our object. Please see that they really uphold our cause. Nobody here should know the purpose for which they come here till the marriage actually takes place. Sitamma (the girl’s mother) wants you to send not more than two people for the purpose. She also thinks that our efforts may in the end again prove a total failure. She has also agreed to give you her written permission for the marriage. Let your people come here as travellers with a note from you and meet me without giving the least smell of the matter to anybody here. They can go to Repudi, the girl’s village, even from this place. I told Sitamma not to leave her village till your men come and take her daughter away. Please send your people at your earliest convenience.”

The Rescuers

I received this letter on the eighth of that month. I wrote to Brahmanandam to the effect that I will send the men shortly, and made preparations. Since his arrival at Rajahmundry Sri A. Lakshminarasimham had been of great help to me in this cause. I sent with my letter Sri S. Bhimasankaram who from the very beginning had been working with us in our movement with great zeal. Sri A. Lakshminarasimham granted leave to a peon of his office, a very intelligent and reliable person, so that he could accompany Sri Bhimasankaram.

In such matters as everything is lost if names are revealed, we did not inform these two even the name of the mother of the girl and of her village. I told Sri Bhimasankaram that after meeting Sri Brahmanandam he himself will guide them in all matters and give necessary instructions. Two days after my friends left Rajahmundry I received a letter from Sri Brahmanandam dated 14th November. He wrote,

“I feel very glad to acknowledge with thanks the receipt of your letter of 11th instant. But I am very sorry to tell you that on a sudden I received orders yesterday directing me to take charge of Vinukonda Taluk forthwith as the acting Tahsildar. I shall have to stay there for forty days. Most likely I shall return after this term. I shall leave this place tomorrow for Vinukonda. Please tell your people not to be disappointed but to go to Repudi, talk to the mother and take the daughter away.”

Before I received this letter my men left Rajahmundry and were on their way. The village they had to go was a hundred and fifty miles from Rajahmundry. We cannot send any telegrams to that place nor was it connected by the railway. So I consulted my friends and wrote to my man a sealed letter giving in detail the names of the girl, her mother and the village and instructing him what to do. We sent this letter, by a reliable peon, whose services were placed at our disposal again by Sri A. Lakshminarasimham Pantulu. Before this letter arrived at its destination our friend went to Tiruvur and learnt that Sri Brahmanandam left the place on transfer. My man did not know the girl whom it was their mission to fetch and even the name of the village. They should not reveal the nature of their mission. They should not even tell anyone who they were, but they were intelligent and could manage things. So he waited for my letter without returning to Rajahmundry. The peon I sent went there on twenty-second and gave my letter to Sri Bhimasankaram. They immediately left for the girl’s village. Her parents were very wealthy and belong to a family which had been holding a leading position in the village for many generations. Except her mother no one else in their circle of relations was in favour of the marriage of this girl. They had many relatives in the neighbouring villages. My men were utterly friendless in those parts. One can imagine their fate if the nature of their mission leaked out. Under such bleak and dangerous circumstances my friend Bhimasankaram with great discretion did not tell even the cartman the name of the village they were going to. He arrived near the village at two in the night and with great difficulty located their house, contacted the mother and told her why he had gone there. She told him that she would not send her girl unless Sri Brahmanandam himself would go there. My friend pleaded with her for a long time and in the end persuaded her to send her daughter. Afraid of being caught on the way, he took every precaution and fetched the girl to Rajahmundry on twenty-second November.

The very next day this news broke out in the town and people came to my house in hundreds to see the girl. For some days my house was like the temple of Lord Venkateswara teeming with many curious people coming in and going out.

The Bridegroom

We set about to secure a suitable young man for this girl. As I have already stated, parents started marrying off their sons in a hurry fearing that otherwise under my evil influence they might marry widows. Thus some students who wanted to marry widows were already married; some are not suitable as they belonged to another sub-sect. While I was looking for a suitable young man, the wife of one whom I brought up and educated died. He did his Matriculation and was in the Police department at Visakhapatnam on a salary of twenty rupees. As he was brought up by me, he had interest in and enthusiasm for widow marriages and other social reforms. As he was young, educated and had good prospects in Government service, he had many offers, but rejecting all these he accepted to marry the girl I proposed. He willingly accepted to face all the difficulties involved in marrying a widow, an unheard of thing in those days, with commendable courage and spirit of service.

The day of marriage was fixed. Under instructions from Sri P. Ramakrishnaiah, I was paid one thousand rupees by Sri N. Kama Raju. I secured all the necessary requirements for the marriage, but as the bridegroom was not granted leave by the Superintendent of Police, Visakhapatnam, I was afraid that the marriage would not take place. I wrote to Colonel PO1.tuguese, the I. G., of Police, who while he was the D. S. P. of our district had a very high opinion of me. He sent a telegram to the District Superintendent of Police, Visakhapatnam, instructing him to grant leave to the bridegroom. He even wrote a personal letter to the District Superintendent of Police, Kakinada, to help me in every possible way in performing the marriage. Sri A. Venkatasastry, the Police Headquarters Inspector at Visakhapatnam, came to Rajahmundry in time along with the bridegroom. This gentleman is the brother of Brahmanandam, the Tahsildar of Tiruvur. Besides, he is a close friend of mine and responsible for persuading the bridegroom to marry this girl.  

The Marriage

Till then the People of Rajahmundry were wondering who the bridegroom was. When they learnt that he was no other than Sri G. Sriramulu, his relatives came and tried to dissuade him from this ‘Foolish Venture’. But he remained firm in his resolve and they went away disappointed. When it was known that the marriage will surely take place, a great commotion gripped our town. My opponents and champions of the old order held public meetings denouncing the forthcoming marriage. People gathered in groups by the road-side and talked about it, the most sensational event.

With this commotion those who were nobodys became famous over-night. Those who were begging for a few chips at marriage functions became the guardians of caste and tradition. Those who beg for alms in the streets were considered fit to gather information on my doings. Disheartened by these activities of my opponents, some of my friends hesitated even to talk to me. Those who boasted that they would lay down their lives for the cause of widow marriages and wrote letters to others asking them to do likewise and some members of my inner circle also were afraid to pass through my street and went by roundabout routes, while going to their places of work in their anxiety to demonstrate that they had dissociated themselves from me! My Brahmin cook left my service afraid of my opponents. The ‘Purohit’ refused to perform ceremonial rites at my house. All my relations abused me and treated me as though I lost my caste. On the day of marriage not only at my house but throughout my street the Police were posted. Amidst such circumstances the first widow marriage took place in my house at Rajahmundry on December 11, 1881.”