How Soft are our Soft Skills?

“Man is a gregarious animal.” A universal truth, though a cliche, necessitates him to communicate with others and the buzzword of the day “globalization” has accentuated this need multifold. The term “Soft skills” encapsulates in it any number of skills considered to be relevant for a sociable, successful and meaningful life. Communication skills- both oral and written, body language, listening skills which form a part of our daily life, resourcefulness to handle life situations effectively and efficiently, decision making, group dynamics, team work – a  prerequisite of Total Quality management(TQM) and a holistic development of the individual’s personality form the core of these skills. More so in the job market with a lot of competition.      Competency coupled with communicative ability enhances the quality of education be it in professional or non-professional sector. The professional education demands these skills aplenty for an exceptional edge over the other aspirants in the field. A mere outstanding grade or a degree with distinction takes one nowhere. Interpersonal relations have a seminal role to play in any of the areas mentioned earlier. The more civil and articulate the person, the healthier his/her relationships.

Listening, Speaking, Reading and Writing skills of any language have to be acquired by a person for the ability to express easily. English being the Lingua Franca, with its status as an international language, has to be spoken for the extra mark in the career. One of the lacunae in the present day system of education, till recently, has been the emphasis only on the written component of the language and not much on the spoken component which comes much earlier in an individual’s as well as society’s history. Besides, spoken part occupies the major chunk of communication, in real life or on professional fronts. Therefore the stress on chaste English with good structures, correct grammaticality and pronunciation and appropriateness of expression. Acceptability being a positive push, ornamental or high-brow language or ostentatious style is not called for.

Good inter-personal skills include an ability to deal with people from various walks of life, on a one-to-one, one-to-many, many-to-one and many-to-many basis. As stated earlier communication skills – both verbal and non-verbal have a tremendous impact on others. To improve verbal skills, it is necessary to develop the habit of reading books, newspapers, magazines, periodicals, in short, any printed matter and attempt to learn something new from it. One must learn to engage oneself in conversations with people who communicate well. Listening is very important here in addition to paying attention to the nuances of conversation. We must understand what the other person says, comprehend and participate in the situation, whether formal or informal. Inputs must be offered at the appropriate time. If we come across new expressions, it is always better to make a note of them and look them up in a good dictionary so that they automatically get imprinted in our mind. One must learn to be judicious as not to barge into the conversation in a rude way, uncalled for, and also to know where to express one’s opinion. A fact universally accepted is that we must learn to speak assertively but never aggressively. We may not agree with others’ views but we must respect their opinions; but we are free to express our own ideas. We must cultivate the habit of saying things politely in a polite manner with appropriate etiquette.

Non-verbal communication skills do play a vital role in inter personal relations. Appropriate gestures and the right kind of body language convey the right message. Throwing arms and legs in an uncouth way, unkempt hair, unpolished shoes, and unpleasant facial expressions result in negative impressions. Dress code is important requiring a sense of propriety. It is equally important to imbibe the correct intonation patterns with a good sense of modulation while conveying our ideas, with congenial expressions. We may not feel that silence is the best solution because the society requires one’s agreement or disagreement on various things.      

Interpersonal relations demand a positive attitude. Therefore it is crucial that we must have the right frame of mind, self-confidence, good listening and communication skills, strong and healthy self esteem, assertiveness to get the point across effectively, simplicity in nature, sensitivity and flexibility in spoken and unspoken media to build a long lasting relationship with people. Such interpersonal skills, if nurtured sensibly, will make our life happy and successful.

It is ironical that so much is being talked about, soft skills and inter­personal relations but in practice nothing much is being done. A good number of centers have come up to offer these special skills, but unfortunately with untrained people who manage to lure the gullible with their sales-talk. Aspirants must think twice before approaching such centers.

It is also to be borne in mind that courteous talk with warmth, pleasing tone and appropriate vocabulary will take one a long way. A frown spoils the entire environment and a smile, it is said, takes us miles ahead. As someone rightly said such manners will not only radiate the one who practices them but also all the others around creating an ambience of peace and harmony and general sense of well-being.