Bihar and Eastern Uttar Pradesh (early history)

by Prakash Narayan | 2011 | 63,517 words

This study deals with the history of Bihar and Eastern Uttar Pradesh (Northern India) taking into account the history and philosophy of Buddhism. Since the sixth century B.C. many developments took place in these regions, in terms of society, economic life, religion and arts and crafts....

Husband and Wife

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Ayya, ayyaputta, gahapati, sami are the terms of address for the husband and pati, sami, and gahapati are the terms of reference. Marriage is polygamous and the term for a co-wife is sapatni.

There are a number of instances which prove that the marriage is polygamous. The brahmana mahagovinda has forty wives^[1], Ratthapala has many^[2] (the number is not specified) and Ugga gahapati has four.^[3] In some cases marriage is monogamous, as in the case of Nukulapita^[4], Mendaka gahapati^[5], suppiya upasaka^[6], sudinna kalandaka^[7], Raja Munda^[8], and a sitthi of Rajagaha^[9].

At least in the cases of Raja Munda and Nakulapita, monogamy is accompanied by mutual love between husband and wife. There is reason in believing that monogamy was generally associated with poverty, but not necessarily so. Thus the brahmana who has many widowed daughters has “one wife, a tawny and speckled one”^[10] At another time, the Buddha says that it is much more difficult for a man with one wife, ugly and poor, to go forth (to join the order) than for a rich with wives.^[11]

The text does not provide any specific reason as to why a man takes another wife, except in the case of Kana, whose husband takes another wife out of pique because Kana’s mother would not send her back to him in spite of is repeated warnings.^[12]

If the husband is polygamous, the right has been given to the wife as well to obtain a customary divorce and even remarry. Ugga gahapti offers his four wives a choice when he renounces worldly ties. He says, “If there is any man whom you desire, I could give you to him.” The eldest one chooses to take another man and is given to him by Ugga.^[13] The same choice has been offered by the brahmana Purohita, Mahagovinda to his forty wives, when he renounces the worldly ties, but they choose to follow him in the path of renunciation.^[14] However, in one case, the wife’s natakas force the husband and wife for divorce and consequent remarriage. When the husband is not able to sort out the problem, he kills the wife and commits suicide.^[15] The husband’s property is not inherited by a wife after his death. The son of a brahmana goes to his mother’s co-wife after the death of his father and asks her to give back the property of his father.^[16] Conjugal love and affection exist on an interpersonal level. The death of Raja Munda’s beloved queen up bathing, anointing, eating and all work and clings day and night to her body. He even asks his treasurer to preserve her body in oil.^[17] When King Pasenadi heard the news of his queen Mallika’s death, he was sorely grieved and became sick at heart, his shoulders drooped, his mouth fell and he sat brooding, unable to speak.”^[18] The woman whose natakas propose to give her in marriage to another man says to her husband, “My natakas have forcibly taken me from you, they want to give me to another man, but I do not want him.” The husband kills his wife and commits suicide in despair, thinking that they will be together thereafter.^[19] Monk Ratthapala’s former wives desire him to go back to them.^[20]

There are cases wives are seen quarrelling with their husbands or treating them contemptuously. In one case the wife, who has become a nun, scolds her husband who is a monk, for not accepting personal services from her as he used to do so.^[21] The wife of a poor brahmana with many daughters wakes him up with her feet in the morning.^[22]

Some wives do not show chastity. In one case the wife, who becomes pregnant by her lover when her husband is away, gets medicine from a monk in order to secure an abortion. In another case a Licchavi man consults the Licchavi gaṇa (council) in order to get their consent to kill his wife for committing adultery.^[23]

It has been said in the sigalovada sutta that the wife should be treated by the husband with respect, courtesy and faithfulness, hand over the authority to her and render her with adornments. In turn, the wives should perform their duties as well and be hospitable and haste, skilled and diligent in all work, and should safeguard the property of her husband.^[24] In another place the Buddha addresses the young women about to go to their husbands’ house (pati kuani).^[25] He says: (1) “A wife rises earlier than her husband and is the last one to retire. She willingly helps her husband, carries out his wishes and speaks with him affable. (2) She honours, reveres and respects all whom her husband reveres, such as his parents, samanas and brahmanas.^[26] (3) She manages the household and those who live in it, the slaves, messengers and domestic servants. She cares for both the able and the sick and distributes food to everyone according to his lot. (4) She is deft and nimble in the crafts of her husband’s household and she knows how to get the work done and how to do it herself. (5) She safeguards her husband’s property, his money, grains, silver and gold, and she is not like a robber, wastrel or carouser.” The Buddha adds that only such a wife can be reborn a deva after death.^[27]

In another instance, the Buddha advises siyata, the unruly daughter-in-law of Anathapindika who comes from a rich family. He says that there are seven types of wives, some approved and others not so. The first is “the slayer” (vadhaka) who is pitiless, corrupt, neglects her husband at night, and passes her time with others. She has been bought with money and is murderous. The second type is “the robber” (conisama), who takes his money and longs to impoverish him. The third is “the mistress-like wife” (bhagini sama), who respects her husband as she wuld an elder.

The sixth type is “the companion-like wife” who is full of joy on seeing her husband, just as one meting a friend after a long time. She is of gently birth, chaste and faithful to her husband. The last type is “the slave-like wife” (dasi sama) who does not fear to take beating from her husband and is calm, patient and obedient. The last four types are virtuous and will go to heaven on death. Sujata after the discourse prefers to become a “slave-like wife.”^[28]