The Birth of a Baby

THE BIRTH OF A BABY
(A short story)

J. D. S. VITHALKAR
(Translated by the author from the original in Marathi)

He dialed to the Haffkine Institute with some hesitation. He had been told that the report would be ready today. He was afraid of the result but he also hoped that somehow luck would smile on him. The telephone was, however, dead at the other end. He tried to wring them up again and again but there was no response. Perhaps their line was out. In spite of his eagerness however, he gave a sigh of relief. He was trying hard to keep calm. The report could be either way. He knew that they would be sending it by post but he was not prepared to wait another day. He was full of anxious anticipation and could think of nothing else. He therefore decided to go to the institute and get the report himself. Taking two hours off, he left his office in a hurry.

It was the usual dull and drab piece of khaki paper suggesting sawdust. But it was the report. As he saw it his heart left a beat or two. The printed form contained nothing more than the name of the patient, Mrs. Meenakshi Madhav Gokhale, and the words “Rabbit test–Positive”. He was all in a flutter. That one word ‘positive’ told him that at long last he would be a father.

Madhav was married for twelve long years but had no issue. Meenakshi had irregular periods. As she missed them now and then she hoped fondly, but nothing happened. Both of them had now begun to lose all hope. This time, however, Dr. Gore found reason to believe that there was something. He therefore got the rabbit test made.

Madhav found himself in an exhilarating mood. It would be a great event indeed! Two months had already passed. Seven months hence the child would be born and fill their life with joy. My God! What a tremendous thing! Tears of thankfulness came to his eyes. He was overwhelmed with a sense of fulfilment. But soon he was also full of melting pity for his dear wife. She would have to bear the ordeal. Yet she would be so glad and happy. Madhav again thought of God and His greatness. And strangely enough he began to doubt. He thought, In’ this stupendous universe with the sun, the moon and countless stars, the earth is but a little thing like a playing marble. Can the Great God have anything to do with this little earth and the life on it? Is He concerned in any way with mere man and his pin-head joys and sorrows?’ Madhav was shaken by these staggering thoughts. He shut up his doubting mind and prayed ‘Oh God! Forgive me. I shall not doubt any more.’ His fervent prayer again brought tears to his eyes. But no one saw them. There were only a few people–mostly the staff–and they were all busy with their routine jobs.

Madhav left the place quietly. He walked in the scorching heat leisurely, wrapped up in his own happy thoughts. A deep sense of well-being filled his heart.

As he passed his eyes fell on a roadside tap which, having burst, sent up water in a tiny fountain; but none noticed it. The wet road showed a pattern of miniature rainbows where motor-oil had dropped but the people just walked on it. On an external window-sill there were blooming roses on which dirty water dropped from the balcony above which was being washed.

It was about four by the time Madhav returned to his office. A circular was lying prominently on his table in the midst of other papers. A pensioner had expired and a condolence meeting was called at six. The circular was full of initials in blue, black, red, green and all. Perhaps they took any pen or pencil that came to hand and scribbled. The pensioner’s death was nothing, and the meeting was less than that–a mere formality. Madhav too put his initials on the paper and thought…oh! nothing at all.

Presently Mr. Raje, the typist, approached him with a broad smile. Madhav said, “Hello! How’s it that you’re here? You’re on leave, I suppose.” Madhav belonged to officers’ cadre but he talked with the staff in a friendly way.

“Yes Sir, I’ve come to invite you all to my wedding. It’s on Sunday next. Please do come.” He handed the invitation card to Madhav and moved to the next table in a hurry. He had a lot to do.

Madhavjust glanced at the card and put it inside the desk. He saw a couple of stale wedding cards still lying there for nothing.

He quietly tore them away. He then saw how Mr. Raje, bubbling over with enthusiasm, was going round the office and giving the wedding cards to all and sundry, and how they took them in a casual way with a formal smile and a few words signifying nothing. “How strange!” Madhav thought, “Here am I full of joy for the coming child. There an old man is dead and gone leaving his family in bereavement. And now this one is busy preparing for his wedding. Birth, death, and marriage! These are all-important events in life but only to the persons concerned. To others they are just casual happenings. People of course do their part on such occasions, wearing an appropriate amount of concern on their faces. But inwardly they are not concerned at all.”

The condolence meeting lasted only ten minutes. The usual resolution, perhaps copied from the old files, was passed unanimously. Nobody thought of making a speech. They were eager to go as soon as possible. So they stood in silence for two long minutes and then dispersed.

Madhav felt strangely forlorn. He thought he did not belong. Why make all this fuss about getting on well? Why bother about making a home and raising a family? The world you lived in cared little or nothing. Nervously he fumbled in his pocket and found the report. He thought of Meenakshi and longed to be with her. He wanted to sleep in her arms like a baby. Perhaps that could give him the assurance he was looking for.

Madhav lived at Thana in the building familiarly known as Gorewadi. Dr. Gore was not only his family doctor but his landlord and neighbour too. The maternity home was near the station. As Madhav passed it now he had half a mind to see the doctor and show him the report. But before he could decide he crossed over to the road leading to Gorewadi. As he arrived, he saw Meenakshi waiting in the balcony. No sooner he entered the room than he announced, “There’s good news, Meena! The doctor guessed right. Look! Here’s the report.”

She was so overcome with joy that she could hardly utter a word. Then as though to say something she exclaimed, “What report! ’Tis only one word.”

“You know, Meena, sometimes one word makes a world of difference. D’you remember the day when I asked you to be my wife? You couldn’t say much, but in happy bewilderment you simply said ‘Yes’. After all these years I can still hear the sweet, shy, confidential, whispering tone of your voice. And that one word made us husband and wife and gave us this life together to love and to cherish.”

They spent the next few days in the usual quiet way, talking about the routine things, but they were brimming with pleasant satisfaction. In spite of her morning sickness, Meenakshi tried to do the daily chores. Madhav, pretending to help her, took every opportunity of planting kisses on her unawares and holding her in his arms when least expected. He behaved like a newly-wed doting husband. She too gave him eager response as never before. They spent most of their spare time together. They grew so fond of each other that they developed a calm and cosy assurance with a deep sense of kinship and belonging.

But days passed and their surging happiness subsided gradually. Meenakshi longed to have this and that as is usual during pregnancy. Madhav deemed it his duty to get her all she wanted. He went all out to meet her demands. But she had tough time during the mornings. So her mother came and stayed with her. But how long could the mother stay? She too had a home from which she could not keep away for long. Luckily Madhav soon got a working maid and the mother departed.

All the twenty and odd families who lived in Gorewadi were thoroughly occupied with minding their own business of living. For a while the women, as is their wont, were alerted by the news about Meenakshi being in the family way. But the significance of the event was soon lost on them.

Meenakshi and Madhav had very friendly relations with the doctor and his family. Mrs. Gore enquired after Meenakshi every other day. The doctor could be called in at any hour. He had promised to take Meenakshi to the maternity home in his own car when the time came. She was all the while under his treatment. The doctor and his wife took every care to see that all went well with Meenakshi. When he examined her he knew her physical condition all right. But how could he know what mixed feelings filled her heart? Her fond hopes and anxious fears, her changing moods, all these he could guess only faintly. However, he bucked her up with his lively chatter. “Take it easy, Mrs. Gokhale. Don’t think of it too much. After all ’tis only the natural thing, All would go well if you only stop worrying.”

She said “yes” but thought, “’Tis easy for you to say that, doctor, but not at all easy for me. This is my first pregnancy after twelve long years. Anything might happen, and that none can tell. How can I help feeling the way I do?” That mood lasted for a while, and then she thought, “Oh! I shouldn’t worry about it. Why, most of them go through it in the ordinary course with the usual amount of labour-pains and all. And how joyfully and easily they forget all their troubles the moment they see the child, the great miracle of life born of their own flesh and blood! ’Tis a great thing to be a mother. God has blessed me. So let me leave it to Him.’ This mood also passed easily to a state of dull despair, and that soon gave place to a feeling of quiet courage. Thus her thoughts moved this way and that in a sort of slow latent torture giving no idea of her inner struggle. Not even Madhav could feel with her in her unaccountable, varying moods. There she was quite alone.

Time passed and at last after a lapse of five months the doctor told them for certain that the ticklish period in which anything could happen was over. They could now rest assured that all would be well. All these months, in spite of everything, anxiety weighed on their minds. They now slowly got over it. They went for evening walks, went visiting their friends and relations, got up safe picnics etc. They went to the temple of Sri Siddhivinayakaat Prabhadevi and prayed fervently, “Oh God! You’ve blessed us, and now all is in your hands!”

In course of time Meenakshl reached the final stage of her pregnancy. The date on which she was expected to deliver passed. From the next day she awoke in the morning in an expectant mood but nothing happened and at night she went to bed full of anxious thoughts. A month went by without any suggestion of progress. A further period of two weeks passed and Meenakshi was still waiting pathetically. The doctor too began to think of the cause of the disturbing delay. He waited for a week and then took Meenakshi to a renowned gynecologist. Madhav dumbly accompanied them. An X-ray photograph was taken which showed that the baby was fully formed. The specialist advised the doctor to start labour-pains by induction without further delay.

The same night Meenakshi became restless. She had no pains as such, but there was much bleeding. Madhav was dis-heartened and the doctor too thought furiously. Without losing time however Meenakshi was removed to the maternity home. Madhav was there, of course, and Meenakshi’s mother who had lately come to stay with them was also there.

The doctor was somehow successful in stopping the bleeding. As the night passed Meenakshi was out of immediate danger. She was rested till the evening and then the doctor commenced the induction.

Meenakshi was in the labour-room throughout the night. Her mother went in once to see how she was getting on. Madhav also remained there for a while. He saw the saline dripping from the inverted hanging bottle. It was getting into Meenakshi’s blood drop by drop like beads of a rosary. Seeing that Madhav remembered Sri Siddhivinayaka as each drop moved in. He could not stand it for long and went out of the room still continuing to repeat ‘Sri Siddhivinayakaya Namah!’ in helpless submission.

Madhav was on his legs for how long he knew not. He now found time hanging on him, and he could do nothing. He felt exhausted as his legs began to ache. He remembered that there were two easy chairs in the waiting room. He went there, only to find that one of them was already occupied by his mother-in- law who was asleep. He settled down on the other chair for a bit of rest. The doctor remained in his room thinking in solitude.

The midnight air outside was still, and all was quiet. Presently a taxi arrived bringing a woman on the verge of delivering. She was taken to the ward and the young couple who accompanied her was shown into the waiting room. Madhav was awakened by their chatter. Was he sleeping all this while? How could he when his dear Meena was in labour in the other room? He was annoyed with himself. Even so he saw that the young thing sitting on the chair opposite was pretty. She was well dressed and with a touch of lipstick she looked like a fresh flower even at that odd hour. She talked with her fiance in a low pleasant voice. Then she suddenly rose up and said, “Let me see what they’ve done about my sister.” She left the room and came quickly and settled down on her chair saying “She’s all right.” The sister was going through the excruciating experience and this one was just babbling playfully looking almost unconcerned. She was rather concerned with her companion who held her hand lovingly and said silly nothings.

Madhav left the room and waited in the balcony. He heard a dog moaning pathetically down below. With the help of torch-light he saw that it was a bitch heavy with her burden and in the process of giving birth. The bitch needed neither medicine nor injection of any kind. No doctor or nurse attended on her. No dog was there to pray for her. It was only man who needed to pray. Why? Perhaps because man alone thought that there was some divine element in him. Was it not his sheer ego which led him to think so? In his silly self-esteem man had reduced God to the human plane. God created the unfathomable universe with the sun, the moon, the countless stars and this little earth. Was he not too great to bother about the human fate? With that thought Madhav was thoroughly shaken. He felt helpless and silly. He prayed to God to forgive him. What else could he do?

Meenakshi was expected to deliver by the morning. But she did not. It was past eight and still she was in pains.

Madhav went to a nearby hotel and got tea for himself and his mother-in-law. He had a smoke and then he went to ease his bowels. “This human body is dirty and demanding! Come what may, its wants cannot be ignored” he thought.

Presently Madhav heard the cry of a new-born child from the labour-room. Within a few minutes he was informed by the nurse that Meenakshi had delivered a son. To the nurse it was a daily affair. Her voice had no trace of any emotion. Now the doctor came to Madhav and patted him on the saying, “Congratulations. ’Tis a bonny boy! The mother and the child are doing well. Let’s have sweets, man….Come, let’s go and see them.” The doctor blurted out as though it was a casual thing. Perhaps he told the same to all.

“Look, Madhav, I may now tell you that it was a difficult case. I was not sure of success. I could well imagine your anxiety, for I too felt anxious. Anyway it has ended well. God’, great! A doctor can only try, you know. The rest is in His hands.”

Madhav was not listening. Still the doctor went on, “All these years I built up my reputation. All my cases have been successful. I was afraid this one might spoil the clean record. But I had luck on my side.”

The doctor was glad that his own reputation was saved. Madhav was glad that he was saved. Both were happy, but each for himself. However, Madhav thanked the doctor with great feeling. With folded hands and a lump in his throat Madhav said to himself, Sri Siddhivinayakaya Namah!

“Come on, let’s go in.” The doctor took him by the arm and led him to the room where Meenakshi was now resting with the tiny tot by her side. Madhav looked at them with melting eyes. He was deeply touched to see his dear Meena who had suffered so much. He said to her lovingly, “How d’you feel now, Meena? You’re better, I hope….By God! What a hell of a time you had! You took full fifteen hours. To me it was a sort of a nightmare. I haven’t yet got over it. But that’s nothing. I wonder how you women stake all, even your life, to bear a child.”

“ ’Tis the Divine Law, my dear, and men can never imagine what a painful pleasure it is to obey that.” Saying so she looked at the little one lying asleep by her side with such caressing eyes that they welled up with tears of joy.

Her mother now took the opportunity to put in, “Meena, may I go and have my bath and all? When I’m Madhav can go.”

“You can’t escape it. The body is always with you and it needs all the daily care it is accustomed to.” Madhav thought. But he said, “All right, mother. You can go, but will you wait a little till I go and get a cigarette?” And with that he again thought, “Well, now ’tis my body which is demanding.”

Madhav stood in the balcony smoking and thinking. Suddenly his eyes fell upon the bitch who had now settled down cosily behind a dealwood box, suckling half a dozen tiny pups all at a time. She had given birth in the most natural way without any fuss. How easily the pups were born! Why shouldn’t the birth of a baby be as simple as that? Man was nothing but a highly developed animal. But he was bestowed with the faculty of reason and that made all the difference. That made the life of man so complex and problematic. Each one of us was a problem. And there was one more now, that new-born little one lying with Meenakshi. It cried when it was hungry and slept when it was full. There was nothing else to do. But as it grew up it would go through its destined lot from which none, not even its mother, could take a fraction. It would bear its cross all alone.

It was no doubt a day of great rejoicing for Madhav. But like one who continues for a while to suffer from sea-sickness even after disembarkation, he still continued to carry an under-current of lingering sombre thoughts in his mind in spite of himself. His eyes rested on the bitch suckling the pups, but he thought of quite another thing.

He remembered the poet who sang:

“God’s in his heaven–
All’s right with the world!”

And then he thought better and said to himself,

“God’s in his heaven–
Man’s alone in the world!”