25. Woman as Mother

The mother outlived the wife. The latter reached the climax of her power and importance when she became a 149 Majumdar R.C., Op.Cit., P. 7. 150 Devapraveso'pi Sukhaya nunam svapne 'pyaveksya na sapatnalaksmih 1(124.6), 32.25-28.

369 mother.151 In both men and women, especially in women, there is a deep desire to reproduce their kind. It is the privilege of a mother to bring up her children, to help them to develop their distinctive gifts, physical and mental, ethical and spiritual. 'Matr devo bhava''treat your mother as a goddesss the advice given to the young. 152 John P.Jones says, "The greatest disappointment in the life of a Hindu woman is not to be able to present her lord a son to solace him in this life and to assist him through the valley of death" J. N. Farquhar observes that their welfare in the other world depends upon their having a son to take over the sraddha ceremonies. Therefore, motherhood has been the cherished ideal The Brahma-Purana also joins hands of every Hindu woman.154 in apothesising the mother at a great height. It states that the mother stands at the highest step among all the relatives. She is greater than even a teacher.155 Manu shows a very lenient attitude when it states that the acarya 151 Upadhyaya B.S.. Op.Cit., P.144. 152 153 154 155 S.Radhakrishnan: Introduction to the Book, Great Women of India. Vide Crown of Hinduism, P. 85. Altekar A.S., The Position of Women in Hindu Civilisation, P.118. Sarvebhyo hyadhika mata Gurubhyo Gauravena hi | (158.5) Vide also 'Gurunam Caiva Sarvesam Mata Paramako Guruh') Mbh. 1.211.16%; and Nasti vedatparam sastram nasti matuh Paro Guruh | Nasti danatparan mitramiha loke Paratra ca Atri 151.

370 exceeds by his greatness ten upadhyayas, the father exceeds a hundred acaryas, a mother exceeds a thousand fathers (II. 145 = Vas. Dh.S. 13.48). Again it is said that one cannot achieve one's aim if it goes against the wish of the mother. Thus the Argirasas practised severe penance but as they had not asked the permission of their mother, their penance did not become fruitful.156 Again, it is stated that one may avert the consequences of all the curses, but a mother's curse can never be averted. The Brahma Purana provides the instance of Yama and repeats it twice in order to advocate this view. It so happened that Yama, the son of Sanjna and Vivasvat Yama , enraged at the discriminative treatment of chaya, the substitute mother for this real mother Sanjna, raised his right leg to strike her in righteous indignation, but for such an ignoble act he was cursed by chaya that his leg would fall out. pleaded his cause to his father but his father said that the mother's words can never ne falsified and the curse of the mother cannot be averted (V 1.22-23), (32-66), (89.15,16), vide also Mat. P. 11.4 ff. This anecdote implies many notions. First of all it 156 Mamanadrutya ye Putrah Pravrttascaritum tapah | Sarvairapi Prakaraistanna tesam siddhimesyati || (158.7).

371 proves that a child can never be permitted to misbehave before the mother, secondly that a mother can never be beaten, thirdly that if the child misbehaves, a mother had → the power to curse him, fourthly that even though the curse of the mother involved injustice as her words cannot be 157 falsified the curse cannot be averted, fifthly that even the father had not the powers to undo the mother's action, sixthly that a mother should always act impartially towards all the children 158, seventhly that even in those days the evils of step-mother were well-known, and eighthly that even if the child committed a mistake the mother was so generous that she would never have an evil desire for the 159 child if she had been a real mother. 157 158 Sarvesameva Sapanam Pratighato hi vidyate 1 na tu matrabhisaptonam kvacitsapanivartanam 32.70 cf. for almost the same words Mbh.(Cr.ed.) 1.33.4 also Brahma Purana 'Na Sakyametanmithya tu kartum matavacastaval' (67.30). Matra snehena sarvesu vartitavyam sutesu vai (6.25), and 'kimartham tanaye su vai tulyesyabhyadhikah sneha ekasminkriyate tvayal'(6.3) tato manye 159 Sapto'ham tata kopena Jananya tanayo matah na Jananimimam val tapatam vara" (32.67). and 'Nirgunedvapyapatyesu mata sapan na dasyatil'(33.74) and 'Apatyesu Viruddhesu Janani naiva kupyate >> Vadtalyadabravam kimcidathava duskrutam krutam | naiva kupyati sa mata tesmanneyam mamambika n Yadapatyakrtan kim citsadhvasadhu yatha tatha | matyasyam sarvamapyetattasmanmateti giyate " Pradhyaksyantiva mam tata nityam pasyati caksusa Vaktyagnikalasadrsa Vaca neyan madambika 11 (89.18-21). cf. for a similar sentiment, Kuputro Jayeta kuracidapi kumata nabhavati - Devyaparadhalsamapanastotra, 2,3,4.

372 From this, it could also be seen that a mother always showed kindness towards the children. Elsewhere it is stated that on account of the anger of mothers, the children of king Bharata perished (13.58). A mother cannot show unworthy feelings towards a son. The Brahma Purana states that when Mayavati, the wife of Sambarasura tried to love Pradyumna (whom she had reared like her own child) as his beloved, Pradyumna was much confused and was unable to understand how Mayavati whom he had always considered to be his mother could show such improper feelings for him (200.2-14). Mothers were never more unhappy than when away from their children.160 The Brahma Purana depicts how Rukmini craves for her lost child Pradyuma (200.21,22). Sometimes the love of the mother for the child attained to such an intensity that the mother was unable to live without the child. The Brahma Purana notes an extreme case when a mother immolates herself 161 aftor the death of her son (228.52) In order to get a son, a woman practised severe penance, observed regularity in meals and slept on kusa bed (13.103). The Brahma Purana deals at length with the rules that a pregnant woman should observe during her crucial period. 160 Altekar A.S., Op.Cit., P.119. 161 Vide also 'Na mam Madhava Vaidhavyam narthanaso na vairita | tatha sokaya Bhavati yatha Putrairvina Bhavah 11 Mbh.V. 90.69. The

373 Brahma Purana states that a pregnant woman should not do any base type of work on both the Sandhyas. During this period she should neither sleep nor go outside nor keep her hair loose. She should eat only good things, remain cheerful and should not yawn and at the time of twilight. She should not occupy the inner apartments of the house. She should not carry any heavy thing like pestle, mortar etc. and should not sleep with a raised head. She should neither speak lie nor should she go to anyone's house. She should not see any man other than her husband (124.20-26). There were special Sutika grhas-maternity homes- for the delivery of the child (200.2); and nurses were kept to rear the child (8.70,111.57).