Story of Gṛhastha

In ancient India the life of a male person was divided into four stages, namely, Brahmacarya Gārhasthya, Vānaprastha and Sannyāsa. He who is in the second stage of life is called a Gṛhastha.

When a person marries, he becomes a Gṛhastha. The bride should have certain qualities to be an ideal wife. The girl should be only a third of the age of the male. She should not have hair either too much or too little. She should not be black or of a piṅgala hue. She should not have any of her organs extra at the time of birth. The following types of girls are to be avoided for marriage. (1) Girls bred up by low-caste people (2) girls with hair over the body (3) not born of a good family (4) sick ones (5) ill-natured ones (6) girls who use abusive language (7) with hereditary diseases (8) with śmaśru (hair on the face) (9) girls with masculine features (10) with the sound of males (11) lean ones (12) with the voice of a crow (13) with thick eyelashes (14) round eyes. Again avoid girls having hair on their legs, raised heels and those with small depressions on their cheeks when they laugh. Girls whose bodies are too bright, with white nails, red eyes and fat hands and legs are not good for marriage. Girls too tall or too short, with eyelashes touching each other, with broad and raised teeth are to be avoided. A true Gṛhastha is one who marries a girl who is separated from him by five generations on the maternal side and seven generations on the paternal side.

A true Gṛhastha should daily worship devas, cows, brahmins, scholars, old men and preceptors. He should worship sandhyā (dawn and dusk) daily and also fire. He should wear on his body leaves of Viṣṇukrānti, Karuka (couch grass), Tulasī (holy basil plant). He should appear neat and smart wearing good dress, with white flowers on his well combed head. He should never steal, speak unpleasant words to anybody nor speak an untruth even if it be pleasant. He should not openly speak about the sins of others. He should not covet another man’s wife. He should not travel in a damaged vehicle nor should he sit under the shade of a tree on the banks of a river. A Gṛhastha should not mingle with such persons as (1) men hated by the people (2) outcastes from society (3) insane men (4) those having a great number of enemies (5) those who torment others (6) prostitutes (7) husbands of prostitutes (8) those who use abusive language (9) those who tell lies (10) spendthrifts (11) scandalmongers and (12) rogues. Never travel alone. He should not bathe against the flow in a river. Never enter a house on fire nor climb to the extreme top of trees. He should not grind his teeth, squeeze out his nose, yawn without covering the mouth. breathe or spit, with the face covered, laugh noisily, breathe out with a sound, bite the teeth, pinch grasses or write or draw on the ground (Aṃśa 3, Viṣṇu Purāṇa).