Chapter 22 - Duties of Householders (Gṛhin or Gṛhastha)

[Sanskrit text for this chapter is available]

Śrī Nārāyaṇa said:

1. One who desires to become a householder (gṛhin) should (first) pay his tuition-fees according to his capacity. After paying the fees, and with his (preceptor’s) permission, he should perform the Samāvartana ceremony (for pupil’s homecoming after finishing the course of holy study).

2. He should then marry with due formalities, a girl suitable to his family, junior to him in age, healthy, devoid of masculine characteristics (e.g. hair on the upper lip) and sinless.^[1]

3. Then for the favour and delight of Lord Kṛṣṇa, he should, according to his eligibility and authority, perform daily worship (by performing the Tarpaṇa of Devas, Sages, Manes and living beings) as per injunctions.

4. Everyday he should perform (holy) baṃ, twilight prayers, muttering of Mantras, Fire-worship (Homa), recitation of Vedas, worship of Viṣṇu, Tarpaṇa (offering of libations of water to deceased parents etc.), Vaiśvadeva (offering to all deities by offering oblations to fire before meals), reception of guests.

5. With wealth earned by righteous means one should perform meritorious acts, according to one’s capacity. He should be unattached. He should feed his dependents, and should not harass them.

6. With reference to a body or bodily limbs, one should not entertain enmity like a brute against others (i.e. one should not inflict injury on the body or limbs of others). One should give up the sense of ‘I’ and ‘mine’ with reference to one’s body etc.

7. He should carefully form association with devotees of the Lord and saintly persons. He should not keep company of lewd, vicious people and greedy persons.

8. He should never look at the wives of others with sexual desire. He should not approach his wife (carnally) during Śrāddha, Parvan days and observance of religious vows.

9. Even though a man has attained maturity in Sāṅkhya (philosophy) and Yogic (practice), he gets infatuated even with his daughter in a lonely place.

10. Hence an intelligent person should not sit with his mother, sister or daughter in privacy. No need to say about sitting in such places with other young women (unrelated to him).

11. Of all inauspicious things, a widow is the most inauspicious one. Her sight or touch destroys the merits of men.

12. If at the time of starting on a journey one sees a widow in front, one should not go at that time. Otherwise death is certain.

13. The blessings of widowed women are similar to the hissing of black serpents. A householder should be afraid of them as of ogresses.

14. One should avoid from a distance liquor, meat, intoxicants (narcotics), gambling etc. One should not entertain malice against living beings, even by speech anywhere.

15. Everyday one should listen to the stories and exploits of the incarnations of Hari. A believer should perform all acts for the sake of Vāsudeva.

16. One should undertake some self-imposed religious observances in the month of Kārttika, Māgha, Vaiśākha, the period of four months from Āṣāḍha to Kārttika and intercalated thirteenth month (called ‘adhika’, extra, additional month).

17. A householder should make religious gifts according to his capacity, to a virtuous recipient in a sacred place, at an auspicious time, as per injunctions. He should be merciful to all beings.

18. O sinless one, I shall now mention to you sacred lands and places, auspicious times, meritorious worthy recipients which specially enhance the merit (of the act).

19. On this earth that land which is presided over by me is the best of all—ṃe land where multitudes of great sages, great observers of religious vows, perform penance.

20-25. The sanctity of places is due to the greatness of Lord Hari and his devotees. They are as follows: Gaṅgādvāra, Mathurā, Naimiṣāraṇya, Kurukṣetra, Ayodhyā, Prayāga, Gayāśiras, (Jagannātha) purī, Varāṇasī, the sacred hermitage of Pulaha (Śālagrāma), the hermitage of Kapila (Siddhapur in Gujarat), Śrīraṅga, Prabhāsa, Kuśasthalī (Dvārakā), the holy Siddhapada, and the great lake Puṣkara, the Raivata mountain (Mount Girnār), the place of sports of the Lord along with Śrī, so also the Govardhana mountain and the sacred forest Vṛndāvana, seven Kulaparvatas (principal mountain ranges) including Mahendra, Malaya and others, sacred great rivers famous in Purāṇas like Bhāgīrathī, highly holy river Yamunā and Sarasvatī, Godāvan, Sarayū, Kāverī, Gomatī and others and Nadas (great rivers like the Indus).

26. Wherever the worship of the idol of the Lord is performed with great celebrations, and wherever devotees exclusively attached to the Lord live (that place is sacred).

27. Where excellent Brāhmaṇas commit no violence (in sacrifices and Śrāddha) and are established in their (routine of) duties, where animals including deer move about without any fear (they are the holy places).

28. Wherever incarnations and stay of Hari have taken place, they are specially the most sacred places on the earth.

29a. Even if an insignificant religious act is performed at these places, it gives a thousand times more merit.

29b-32. I shall now narrate to you the times which enhance the merit (of the act done), Listen to it, O Nārada:

Two Ayanas (the period of Sun’s transition from one solstice to another), Viṣuva (the first point of Aries or Libra into which the Sun enters at the vernal or autumnal equinox), the eclipse of the Sun and the Moon, the days without a tithi, Vyatīpāta and all constellations from Śravaṇa, all the twelfth and eleventh days (Tithis), the first days of Manvantaras and Yugas—All these are auspicious days. Also the new-moon day, Vaidhṛti, the full-moon days accompanied by the constellation of the month and four Aṣṭakā days,^[2] the day with the constellation under which one is born and days of celebration of the birth of Hari (the eighth day in the dark half of Śrāvaṇa).

33. Those times are auspicious when there take place the sacred ceremonies and consecration of wife and children or times of getting prosperity and of finding a person worthy of receiving gifts.

34. Worship of Devas, manes, Brāhmaṇas and saintly persons according to one’s capacity, sacred bath, religious gifts, muttering of Mantras, yield infinite fruits.

35. Just as water supplied to roots reaches all branches, so the Lord himself is the worthy recipient, giving satisfaction to all, O Nārada.

36. Those Brāhmaṇas are worthy of receiving (religious gifts) who are satisfied by non-violence and Vedic learning, who hold in their heart Viṣṇu with proper religious devotion.

37. Know that the devotees of the Lord who are exclusively attached to him and release those who are bound (in Saṃsāra), are worthy recipients and the Lord himself abides in them.

38. A rich person should get constructed massive temples of Viṣṇu. He should also provide means of subsistence for the unbroken continuity of the worship (of God).

39. He should prepare reservoirs of water and gardens for the sake of Viṣṇu. He should satisfy saints and Brāhmaṇas with rich food of good flavour.

40. He should according to his capacity perform Vaiṣṇava type of sacrifices involving no violence as per injunctions. He should celebrate the birth-anniversary festivals of Viṣṇu with greatly affluent preparations.

41. In the dark half of Bhādrapada, on Kṣaya-days, in holy places and on the parvan days, one should perform the Śrāddha of one’s parents and of their relatives as per one’s capacity.

42. In ritualistic acts pertaining to Devas and to the manes, one should worship the devotees of the Lord and Brāhmaṇas who are well-established in their specific religious duties and should feed them as if one was feeding the Lord.

43. In rituals pertaining to Devas two Brāmaṇas and in ritualistic acts about Pitṛs (e.g. Śrāddha) three Brāhmaṇas should be fed as per prescribed procedure, or one should feed only one (per Daiva and Pitṛ rituals), but one should not enlarge (the number of Brāhmaṇas) during Śrāddha.

44. It is definite that Śāstric injunctions do not demand enlargement of place, time, provisions, worthy recipients, utensils of worship etc.

45. A man should never serve non-vegetarian diet anywhere in a Śrāddha nor he should eat it.^[3] The ancestors are highly pleased (by partaking) food suitable to sages and with milk and ghee.

46. All the ancestors who are extremely merciful are satisfied by non-injury to all beings through thoughts, words and physical acts.

47. Therefore, a man who is devoted to Vāsudeva should not serve meat in Śrāddha anywhere, either out of evil company or out of ignorance of the meaning of the scripture.

48. He should observe vows and perform rites pertaining to Viṣṇu, along with restraints including celibacy. He should be devoted to him (Viṣṇu) and should do no other work on that day.

49. One should shun auspicious rites during the defilement caused by child-birth or death of one’s relatives as well as at the time of the solar and lunar eclipses, as prescribed in the scriptures.

50. In disputes and even in taking decision, in transaction of business, non-householders, including renouncers and widows are not to be employed.

51. Where such persons are present no work can be successful. It will lead to destruction. This is the decision, O excellent Brāhmaṇa.

52. These are the duties of householders narrated in brief by me. After performing these, people will enjoy imperishable happiness as desired by them.

53. Householders of twice-born castes are declared as fourfold according to the means of livelihood and known by those various names (of their ways of livelihood), such as maintaining themselves by picking up grains when corn is taken to the thrashing floor.

54. I shall now proclaim to you the duties of women abiding by which women will get their desired happiness, O excellent one among the virtuous ones.

55. By women whose husbands are alive, their own husband should always be served as a god, and is to be obeyed even if he be old, diseased or indigent.

56. His relatives also should be obeyed by serving them as is due to them. Utensils in the house should be kept clean and bright.

57. Everyday the house should be kept clean by sweeping, sprinkling of water etc. What is true yet agreeable, should be spoken and they should always remain in a pure state.

58. Fickleness, overgreediness, anger, stealing, violence and association with the irreligious—all these should be avoided boṃ by women as well as by men.

59. In religious rituals they should always be exclusively devoted to them. Giving up arrogance and subduing sense-organs, they should live with modesty.

60. Worship to the Lord of Ramā should be performed by those women who are established in the virtuous duty of exclusive devotion to the husband. They should never (try to) be independent and self-willed.

61. A widow should always serve Viṣṇu, regarding him to be her husband. She should never listen to, nor speak about, sexual matters.^[4]

62. If there is no emergency, she should never touch a man unless he is a very close relative. She should never look at a man with carnal intention.

63. A widow does not get spoilt by the touch of her male child or of an old man, or by speaking with them in unavoidable situations.

64. She should not enter into inordinate controversy in matters pertaining to practical life, In essential matters she may speak with them (in open places).

65. She should never intently see the sexual union even of animals. She should give up all objects of pleasure and should be moderate in taking meal once a day.

66. She should not put on fine cloth woven with metal (threads like those of gold or silver) and should not wear ornaments. She should never sleep at day time or on bedsteads, except in emergency.

67. She should never eat betel-leaves, smear the body with oil or unguents and use collyrium. She should always be afraid of association with men like that with a black serpent.

68. With the exception of Goddess Lakṣmī only there is no woman who is not subject to infatuation after seeing a man.

69. Hence a woman, established in religious duties and desirous of one’s beatitude, should not look at a male form or touch him intently.

70. She should perform religious observance, like Kṛcchra, Cāndrāyaṇa and others regularly. She should be always engaged in observing restraints.

71. A young woman should not stay in a solitary place even with father, sons etc. or with a young man. She should absolutely dissociate herself from bad company.

72. A woman whether a widow or one with her husband alive, should never conceal her period of menstruation. For ṃree nights (during this period) she should not touch a human being and other (objects etc.).

73. On the first day of menstruation, she is called (i.e. is equated with) a Cāṇḍāla woman, on the second day, a Brāhmaṇa-killer, on the third day, a washer-women. On the fourth day, she becomes purified.

74. Thus the duties of women have been briefly narrated to you. Those women who abide by them will attain great happiness here and hereafter.

Footnotes and references:

[1]:

Cf Rules for selecting a bride summarised in HD II.i, pp 41-433.

[2]:

The 8th day in the dark half of Mārgaśīrṣa (acc. to Āśvalāyana Gṛhya Sūtra II.4.1) or of three months, viz. Pauṣa, Māgha and Phālguna is known as Aṣṭakā.

[3]:

Other old Purāṇas and Smṛtis prescribe the periods of time for which Pitṛs are gratified by flesh of certain animals (vide Yājñavalkya 1.258-261). For other references vide HD IV, p 423. SkP being a late Purāṇa strongly disapproves of non-vegetarian food in Śrāddha.

[4]:

For duties of widows cf HD II.i, pp.583-87. The extracts from Smṛtis and other works show that the position of Hindu widows was unenviable till recent times.