Chapter 63 - The king recalls a former evil deed

[Full title: The king recalls a former evil deed which is the cause of his present distress].

A full hour having passed, the king awoke and was overcome with distress. He began to ponder deeply, but his mind was clouded with grief and though equal to Indra, death threatened to seize him as Rahu seizes the sun.

The sixth night after Rama’s exile, the king again remembered his former evil deed and agitated by the recollection of his sin, he addressed the Queen Kaushalya: “O Kalyani, O Auspicious One, whatever man does, be it good or evil, he gathers the fruit thereof. He is deemed ignorant who does not consider the merit or demerit of his actions before performing them. O Queen, he, who, enjoying the red flowers of the palasa tree, cuts down the adjoining mango tree and yet desires to partake of mangoes, will not realize his expectation when the palasa bears fruit. He, who, heedless of the consequences, enters into action, will in the end repent like the man who waters the palasa tree.

“O Lady, I have cut down the mango tree and watered the palasa tree, now, when the fruit is ripe, I too, having banished Rama, repent bitterly. O Kaushalya, in order to be esteemed as an archer, in my youth, I directed my arrows by sound alone, and a grievous deed was committed by me. I am the cause of this present distress. O Queen, as a child swallows poison in ignorance, so have I destroyed my happiness by this deed formerly committed in ignorance. As one beguiled by the beauty of the palasa flower, waters it in expectation of the sweet fruit (of the mango) so did I cultivate the fruit I now reap, by shooting at a sound. O Lady, in those days we were not united in marriage and I was heir-apparent.

“At that time, the rainy season being near, the increase of desire having come, the sun drying up the earth, scorching the world with its rays, entered the southern path. Then the heat subsided and refreshing clouds covered the sky, delighting the peacocks, the frogs and the swallows. The birds drenched with the rain, passed the night in distress, tossed to and fro on the trees by the humid winds. The limpid water in the streams dark and turgid from deposits of the mountain soil, flowed onwards sluggishly.

“In that delightful season, taking my bow and arrows in my chariot, I came to the bank of the river Sarayu, desiring to hunt. Taking my stand at a ford, where buffaloes, elephants and tigers came at night to drink, I heard the sound as of a pitcher being filled with water in the darkness. Seeing nought and deeming it to be the sound of an elephant, I took from my quiver an arrow dipped in the poison of a snake and discharged it whence the sound came.

Having discharged the keen and poisoned shaft, I heard the voice of a youth crying out, and he, pierced in the side, fell exclaiming

‘Who has shot an ascetic who has no enemy in the whole world? Desirous of drawing water, I came here in the dead of night. What harm had I done to him who has smitten me? Why should I, who live on fruits and roots in the forest, and have injured none by word or deed, be slain by weapons? What gain is there in destroying one wearing bark and deerskin? To whom have I done an injury? Such an act is unlawful, as one who does not respect the couch of his Guru is considered an abandoned person, so he who has wrongfully smitten me, cannot be a virtuous man. I do not grieve for the loss of my own life, but for what will befall my parents, when I die! To what condition will they be brought on my death, that aged pair so long supported by me? My mother, my father and I have been killed by a single arrow! By what foolish man have we all been slain?’

“O Kaushalya, I, ever desirous of acquiring virtue and eschewing what was evil, hearing this sad complaint, became exceedingly distressed and the bow fell from my hands. The lament of the sage caused me the deepest affliction and overwhelmed with grief I advanced to where he lay, wounded by my arrow. There I beheld him lying on the ground, his hair dishevelled, his body besmeared with blood and dust, the water flowing from his loshta which lay at some distance from him.

Seeing me standing there dismayed, he fixed me with his gaze as if he would consume me, and said:

‘O King, what harm have I, a dweller in the forest, done to you, that you have wounded me while fetching water from the river for my aged parents? You have inflicted a mortal wound by thine arrow and have in this wise slain my mother and father also, who weak, aged and blind and the victims of exceeding thirst, await my return. Afflicted with thirst, they are watching for my return. Alas! what fruit have I earned by the practice of penance and the hearing of the Veda and Puranas since my father does not know that I am lying mortally wounded here? Yet if he knew, what could he do, since he is blind and a cripple? As a tree cut down cannot support another, so my parents blind and crippled cannot assist me. O King, go speedily to my father and inform him of my plight. I fear lest he curse you and consume you as a fire burns up wood! O King, the path beheld by you leads to my parents’ hut. Do you go there and propitiate them, O King, that they may not wax wrath and curse you. O King, free my side from this shaft; this arrow penetrating my body resembles a river that washes away the long and sandy bank.’

“O Lady, I reflected that as long as the arrow remained fixed he would not die, though suffering great pain, but should I extract it, he would certainly perish.

The son of the muni, seeing me afflicted and reading my thoughts addressed me in great agony and said:

‘O King, though in anguish and confused, my body quivering with pain and about to die, yet I am able to control my distress and am at peace. Dismiss your fears, O King, though your sin is grievous, you have not slain a brahmin. O King, I am born of a shudra mother and a vaishya father.’

“As he was speaking, his eyes rolling, his face blanched, struggling and quivering on the earth, I withdrew the arrow and he, looking up in agony, yielded up his breath.

“O Queen, deeply afflicted, I beheld that treasury of truth, lamenting, his body bathed in sweat, in the act of giving up his life.”