Weeping like a Village Girl

Even though Pūjyapāda Śrīla Trivikrama Gosvāmī Mahārāja and my dīkṣā-guru Paramārādhya Śrīla Bhaktivedānta Vāmana Gosvāmī Mahārāja could not come every year for the Vraja Māṇḍala parikramā, they would however always be present for Śrī Navadvīpa parikramā. Once in Navadvīpa parikramā Śrīla Trivikrama Mahārāja said to me “Oh Navīna, your Mahārāja (Śrīla Nārāyaṇa Mahārāja) weeps like a village girl during harikathā.” As he was so senior to me and was Śrīla Gurudeva’s god brother I did not answer or try to defend him. If I had tried to defend it would have been a Vaiṣṇava aparādha. It is not Vaiṣṇava etiquette at all.

A few days later we were at Mamagachi in Modadrumadvīpa. Śrīla Gurudeva was speaking about Lord Rāma’s pastimes. Lord Rāma’s pastimes are full of karuṇā-rasa, so heartwrenching that hearing this all the audience began weeping including and especially Śrīla Trivikrama Gosvāmī Mahārāja. Śrīla Gurudeva and Trivikrama Mahārāja were situated next to each other and I was sitting next to Pūjyapāda Trivikrama Maharja. Trivikrama Mahārāja began weeping uncontrollably; tears were streaming from his eyes, mucous was coming from his nose and saliva dropping from his mouth; he was manifesting all these ecstatic symptoms.

When Śrīla Gurudeva’s lecture was over, I said to him, “Pujyapada Trivikrama Mahārāja was telling me that you weep so much during hari-kathā like a village girl. But today I have seen Trivikrama Mahārāja weeping more bitterly than you. I have never seen one can weep so bitterly—why so?”

Śrīla Gurudeva laughed and joked with Trivikrama Mahārāja. “Oh, you’re also a village girl!”

Then Trivikrama Mahārāja gave me a big slap on the back and said “What can I do? Your Mahārāja is speaking so much beautiful hari-kathā, so pathetic, full of karuṇā-rasa. I don’t want to weep, but it’s not in my control. When I try to control myself I just weep more! This is not my fault; this is the fault of your Gurudeva, Śrīpāda Nārāyaṇa Mahārāja.”