Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu
by Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī | 180,912 words
The English translation of the Sri Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu verse 2.4.246; a medieval era Sanskrit book, written by Rupa Goswami (fl. 15th century) which represents a devotional (bhakti) masterpiece. In this work Goswami describes the nature and different forms of pure love (rasa) as well as various other topics on Vaishnavism and devotion.
Verse 2.4.246
yathā vā —
dhig dīrghe nayane mamāstu mathurā yābhyāṃ na sā prekṣyate
vidyeyaṃ mama kiṅkarī-kṛta-nṛpā kālas tu sarvaṅkaraḥ |
lakṣmī-keli-gṛhaṃ gṛhaṃ mama hahā nityaṃ tanuḥ kṣīyate
sadmany eva hariṃ bhajeya hṛdayaṃ vṛndāṭavī karṣati ||2.4.246||
atra nirveda-garva-śaṅkā-dhṛti-viṣāda-maty-autsukyānāṃ śāvalyam |
Here is a combination of nirveda (self-contempt), garva (pride), śaṅkā (apprehension), dhṛti (steadiness), viṣāda (despair), mati (contemplation) and autsukhya (impatience):
“My long eyes are unfortunate since they do not see Mathurā. My learning has made kings into servants. Time devours everything, but my house is the playground of Lakṣmī. Yet how unfortunate I am! My body grows thinner day by day. Therefore I should sit in my house and worship the Lord, but my heart is attracted to Vṛndāvan.”