Song 23

(Varāḍi rāga)

Refrain: O! O! O! Lord Gauracandra is my very life!

1. Now I will tell the wonderful story of a pastime no one in the world has ever seen. No one in the world has ever seen or heard of such a pastime.

2. Anyone who has even a single sesame seed of doubt should pay careful attention with all his heart. To benefit everyone Lord Gaura revealed the truth about Himself.

3. Singing and dancing, joyful Lord Gaura came to Candraśekhara’s house.

4. Śrī Candraśekahara Bhaṭṭācārya also became joyful. Please hear of the wonderful pastimes the Lord enjoyed in his home.

5. Lord Gaura came dancing. His effulgence was like millions and millions of rising moons.

6. More than nectar His effulgence was wonderful, glorious, and cooling. No one could look at it. It was as if lightning filled the four directions.

7. Gazing at the Lord, everyone felt their hearts become filled with bliss. Tears filled their eyes. The Lord’s effulgence was blinding.

8. Gazing at this sight, the people of Nadīyā became filled with wonder.

9. Someone asked the Vaiṣṇavas: "What is the meaning of this? Please tell us."

10. The Vaiṣṇavas replied: "What do we know? Lord Viśvambhara, who is rich in the jewels of transcendental virtues, has come dancing.

11. "That is all we know. We do not know anything more. His pastimes are beyond the knowledge of the world and the Vedas.

12. "He manifested an effulgent form for seven days without stop. Because of His effulgence we did not know if it was day or night.

13. "Śacī’s son, who follows the religion of compassion, manifests blissful pastimes that are eternally new and fresh."

14. On another day, speaking from his heart, Śrīvāsa, the best of brāhmaṇas, asked this question of Lord Gaura:

15. "In Kalī-yuga the chanting of Lord Hari’s holy names brings the perfect and complete fruit of all spiritual endeavors. What does the chanting of the holy names bring any lesser result in the other yugas?"

16. Hearing these words, Lord Gaura said: "Listen, O Śrīvāsa. Your question is good. I will give a clear answer.

17. "In Satya-yuga the perfect religion is meditation. In Tretā-yuga the perfect religion is performance of yajña.

18. "In Dvāpara-yuga it is said that the worship of Lord Kṛṣṇa’s Deity form is the heart of religion. However, in Kalī-yuga no one has the power to perform these activities properly.

19. "The Supreme Lord is identical with His holy name. Therefore in Kali-yuga Lord Hari’s holy name has all power.

20. "In the three other yugas the great devotees serve Lord Nārāyaṇa by properly performing medittaion, yajña, or Deity worship.

21. "In Kalī-yuga every is very sinful and ill-behaved. Therefore the Lord feels extreme compassion for therm.

22. "Therefore the Lord has arranged that in Kalī-yuga all perfection may be obtained very easily. It is attained simply by chanting the Lord’s holy names.

23. "In the other yugas one must strive with a great effort. But in Kalī-yuga one may very easily attain the Lord’s mercy."

24. Placing Narahari’s feet on his head, Locana dāsa repeats Lord Gaurāṅga’s sweet words.

25. The days happily passed in this way. Then Lord Gaura suddenly saw this thought in His heart:

26. "I cannot stay here. I cannot. I must go to see the land of Vṛndāvana.

27. "Where is My Yamuna? My Vṛndāvana? Where is My Bahulāvana? My Bhāṇḍīravana? My Govardhana?

28. "Where is My Rādhā? My Lalitā and the other gopīs? Where is My Nanda? My Yaśodā?

29. "Where are My Śrīdāmā and Sudāmā? Where are My white and dark surabhī cows?" Calling out in this way, Lord Gaura ran about, overcome with ecstatic love.

30. Holding a straw between His teeth and gazing in the four directions, He wept piteously.

31. "How can I continue to pass My time in this world of birth and death? Where must I go to find the feet of Nanda’s son?"

32. Speaking these words, He broke the sacred thread resting on His neck. Separated from Lord Kṛṣṇa, He was overcome with grief.

33. He called out, "Hari! Hari!" He sighed. The shed flooding rivers of tears. He did not say anything.

34. The hairs of His body stood erect. His body became red. Seeing all this, Murārī said:

35. "Listen. Listen, O Mahāprabhu, O Gaura, O Supreme Personality of Godhead. Nothing is impossible for You.

36. "You have the power to go or stay anywhere. But please do not go anywhere without first telling me.

37. "If You want to go to another county, You may go. You are independent. You may separate Yourself from the Vaiṣṇavas.

38. "You are independent. You can do whatever is in Your heart. But if You depart then all the people will again enter the world of birth and death.

39. "Lord, please do not do anything without considering the results. This I say to You."

40. Hearing these words, Lord Gaura became silent. Defeated by Murāri, He had no power to speak.

41. Then some more days passed happily. His eyes filled with tears, Lord Gaura gazed at the people of Nadīyā.

42. Filling His mother’s eyes and heart with a mother’s love, Lord Gaura-Harī enjoyed many pastimes with Viṣṇupriyā.

43. He enjoyed many happy pastimes with His friends and kinsmen. He delighted everyone in Navadvīpa.

44. With the Vaiṣṇavas He enjoyed pastimes of chanting the holy names. Gazing at Him, the city’s women hopelessly sighed.

45. His form is the most wonderful in the three worlds. His pastimes are the most blissful. He stands at the summit of all handsome grace.

46. His ornaments glistened. Reaching to His shoulders, His hair was decorated with jasmine flowers.

47. He was gracefully decorated with sandal tilaka. His red-bordered garments were the most graceful in the three worlds.

48. His associates and everyone else in the city gazed at Him.

49. In this way Lord Gaura was surrounded by His devotees. Gently, gently smiling, Lord Gaura told everyone of dream. He said:

50. "Listen, everyone. At night I saw a dream. He who is the jewel of the brāhmaṇas suddenly came before Me.

51. "In My ear he spoke the sannyāsa mantra. Now that mantra is manifest in My heart.

52. "From the mnoment that mantra entered, My heart has been unable to keep its independence.

53. "How can I abandon the dear master of My life? If I abandon Hīm, what will I do?

54. "He is sublimely handsome. His luster defeats the sapphire. Smiling, He always stays in My heart."

55. Hearing these words, Murārī said: "You wrote that mantra’s saṣṭhī-tatpuruṣa-samāsa."

56. Hearing these words, Lord Gaura said: "Your words do not pacify My heart.

57. "I try to become peaceful, but I only weep. Please don’t speak words like those to Me. Instead hear My words.

58. "The sound of that mantra is very powerful. What can I do? I cannot resist it, as you suggest."

59. Hearing these words, everyone became sorrowful at heart. With an sorrowful heart Locana dāsa speaks these words.

60. After some days the great pure-hearted sannyāsī Śrī Keśava Bhāratī arrived.

61. Because in his previous births he had accumulated a mountain of pious deeds he was now a very powerful sannyāsī and a great devotee.

62. Lord Viśvambhara saw him when he arrived. Seeing Lord Viśvambhara, the sannyāsī became joyful.

63. Lord Viśvambhara respectfully stood and then bowed down before the sannyāsī’s feet. As He gazed at the sannyāsī, tears of ecstatic spiritual love flowed from the Lord’s eyes.

64. Seeing Lord Viśvambhara’s body, the very intelligent king of the sannyāsī’s understood a little of the Lord’s nature.

65. Keśava Bhāratī Gosvāmī then said: "Are You Śukadeva? Are You Nārada?" These questions rest in my heart.

66. Hearing these words, Lord Viśvambhara wept. Twice as many tears flowed from His eyes.

67-68. Very surprised, the sannyāsī again said: "Thinking of all this, my heart has come to the conclusion that You must be the Supreme Personality of Godhead. You are the life of all the worlds. Of this there is no doubt."

69. Hearing these words, Lord Viśvambhara continued to weep. He said: "After how many days will I find Lord Kṛṣṇa’s feet?

70. "You love Kṛṣṇa very fervently. Therefore you see Kṛṣṇa everywhere.

71. "After how many days will I see Kṛṣṇa? I will wear garments like yours.

72. "To find Kṛṣṇa I will travel from country to country. Where should I go to find Kṛṣṇa, the master of My life?

73. Speaking these words to the sannyāsī, and then falling like a stick to offer obeisances to him, Lord Viśvambhara, taking the sannyāsī with Him, returned to His own home.

74. Seeing Śrīvāsa, the Lord said to him: "Please take this sannyāsī to your home."

75. Hearing the Lord’s words, Śrīvāsa took the sannyāsī and fed him very grandly.

76. After taking his meal, the sannyāsī passed that day at Śrīvāsa’s house. At dawn of the next day the king of sannyāsīs departed.

77. That morning Śrīvāsa told the Lord of the sannyāsī’s departure.

78. Hearing these words, the Lord became sorrowful at heart. Thinking of the sannyāsī, the Lord walked home.

79. Returning home, Lord Gaura-Harī thought and thought. He decided to accept sannyāsa.

80. From various hints understanding the Lord’s decision, Mukunda tried to stop Him.

81. All the devotees came. Weeping, Mukunda placed these words before hte devotees feet:

82. "Everyone please hear. Hear my owrds. Lord Viśvambhara will accept sannyāsa.

83. "For as long as He stays among us please fill your eyes with the sight of His form and fill your ears with the sound of the words from His mouth.

84. "The Lord will leave His home and go away. He will leave His mother and His servants."

85. Hearing these words, everyone became sorrowful at heart. In their hearts they tried to plan a way for the Lord to stay amongst them.

86. "The Lord is independent. We have no power to control Him." When these words were spoken, the frighetend devotees fell down.

87. Falling to the ground, they wept. Covered with dust, they called out: "O master of oure lives! O Lord Viśvambhara!

88. "O! O Lord Mahāprabhu, where will You go? The black snake of Kali-yuga will grab and devour us.

89. "O Lord, please protect us from the fearful snake of Kalī-yuga. Afraid of You, the snake of Kalī will not attack us in Your presence.

90. At that time Lord Viśvambhara arrived there. Seeing Śrīvāsa, the Lord said:

91. "Please hear. Hear, O dear brāhmaṇa Śrīvāsa. I will say something, if you are not afraid to hear My words.

92. "To find ecstatic spiritual love I will go to another country. That love I will bring back and give to you. Please hear, O best of the brāhmaṇas.

93-94. "As a man may climb on a boat, travel to a farway country, earn wealth, endure many difficulties, return home and with the wealth he brought maintains his kinsmen, in the same way I will gather ecstatic spiritual love and give it to you."

95. Hearing these words, Śrīvāsa Paṇḍita said: "Lord, if we do not see You, how will we remain alive?

96. "A person can maintain his friends and kinsemn only as long as they remain alive in their bodies. When they have left their bodies one can only offer śrāddha to them.

97. "Only if we remain alive can You give us the treasure of ecstatic spiritual love. If we cannot see You, we will certainly die."

98. Then Mukunda said: "Lord, my body is on fire. Though flames burn in my heart, my life breath cannot leave.

99. "I may be a fallen, wretched sinner. but You are a crooked-hearted cheater. I know the way You act.

100. "Not knowing Your true nature, fools like myself renounced the material world and took shelter of You.

101. "Renouncing religious rituals and duties we took shelter of Your feet. Why do You now renounce us?

102. "You are the purifier of the fallen. This all the scriptures declare. That is why we renounced all other duties and surrendered unto You.

103. "Now You will renounce us and go away. Lord, it is not right. This appeal I place befoere You.

104. "Not knowing how crooked is Your heart, we took shelter of You. In truth Your heart is very hard. It is like a thunderbolt.

105. "Outside You are like a fragrant nectar lotus flower, but inside You are like a thunderbolt. This truth my heart knows.

106. "I know Your heart is very hard. Your heart is like a pot of poison, poison with a little milk floating on its top.

107. "Your heart is like a wooden modaka candy anointed with camphor. No one knows that candy can never be eaten.

108. "If You go to another country, how will we stay alive? You enjoy being cruel to us. That is why You act in this way.

109. "If we cannot see Your face for even s single sesame seed’s worth of time, we will die. We will weep and weep." Then Murārī said:

110. "Please Listen. Listen, O Lord Gaura, O Viśvambhara. Fallen Murārī speaks. Please pay attention.

111. "With Your own finger You planted a wonderful tree. You watered it. Day and night it grew. It sprouted buds.

112. "Day after day You very carefully protected it. You built a fence around it. It’s base You decorated with many jewels. "Now, as it is about to give flowers and fruits You want to cut it down. Now we will all die. Our hearts will break into pieces.

114. "Day and night we know no one but You. When we dream we see the moon of Your face.

115. "We don’t want anything in this world of birth and death. We want only to feel the breeze coming from Your feet, feet so rare and difficult to find in this world.

116. "If You leave us and go to another country, the tiger of material life will grab and devour us."

117. When these words were spoken, the devotees assembled together and fell down before Lord Gaura’s feet.

118. O friend of the fallen, O protector of the unprotected, O deliverer of the fallen, You are the master of all the worlds."

119. With a blade of straw between his teeth, one devotee spoke these words filled with emotion. Another devotee raised his arms and loudly called out.

120. Lord Gaura said: "You are all My servants. I tell you all: Please listen. Please have faith in Me."

121. As the Lord began to speak, His voice became choked with emotion. Tears flowed from the red lotus flowers of His eyes.

122. With an emotion-choked voice He spoke half half words. Finally He could not speak. For a moment He was silent.

123. "The fear of being separated from Me torments you. My body is also tormented, tormented by separation from Lord Kṛṣṇa.

124. "Thinking you will be happy by doing it, you try to please Me. How is that love?

125. "Separated from Lord Kṛṣṇa, My heart is on fire. My senses are burned to ashes. My whole body is aflame.

126. "Even My mother is like a blazing fire. All your words are laced with poison.

127. "Life without Kṛṣṇa is not life. A person who lives without Kṛṣṇa is worthless like a pile of ashes. He is like a bird or a beast.

128. "He is like a corpse, or like a dead leaf fallen from a vine or a tree.

129. "Without Kṛṣṇa religion and pious deeds are like a brāhmaṇa ignroant of the Vedas, or like a girl without a husband, or like a fish out of water.

130. "They are like ann unemployed povertystricken man trying to build a house, or like trying to build a university amongst the illiterates.

131. "Without Kṛṣṇa, My life throbs with pain. Whatever you say will never enter My ears.

132. "Wearing a yogī’s garments, I will go from country to country to find the master of My life."

133. Speaking these words, Lord Gaura fell to the ground and wept. The brāhmaṇa-thread on His body He broke and threw away.

134. "Kṛṣṇa! Kṛṣṇa!", He called out in a voice filled with pain. In a piteous voice calling out, "Master of My life!", He wept.