Verse 2.3.47

Sanskrit text, Unicode transliteration, Word-for-word and English translation of verse 2.3.47:

तेन तं प्रकटं पश्यन्न् अपि प्रीये न पूर्ववत् ।
सीदाम्य् अथ लयं स्वस्य सङ्कमनः स्वयम्-भवम् ॥ ४७ ॥

tena taṃ prakaṭaṃ paśyann api prīye na pūrvavat |
sīdāmy atha layaṃ svasya saṅkamanaḥ svayam-bhavam || 47 ||

tena–by that; tam–Him; prakaṭam–manifested; paśyan–seeing; api–although; priye–happy; na–not; pūrva-vat–as before; sīdāmi–I would feel distressed; atha–then; layam–merging; svasya–of myself; śaṅkamānaḥ–feeling apprehensive; svayam-bhavam–selfmanifest.

Therefore, although I was seeing the Lord of the abode of liberation, Parameśvara, in His personal form, I could not be happy as before. Rather, I was always disturbed and frightened, thinking, “I might merge into Him.”

Commentary: Dig-darśinī-ṭīkā with Bhāvānuvāda

(By Śrīla Sanātana Gosvāmī himself including a deep purport of that commentary)

Śrī Gopa-kumāra says, “Constant darśana of the Lord of the realm of liberation in His personal feature of Parameśvara increased my greed to see my own worshipable Lord, my iṣṭa-deva, but still I could not become happy as I was before. Rather, I remained perpetually disturbed by the fear that I could merge into that effulgent Personality. The reason for this was that all the living beings would enter into that effulgent Lord, the presiding Deity of mukti-pada, because of their extreme proximity to Him. This was the nature of that abode. I was also very near Him. Thus I was always miserable, fearing that if I merged into Him, my longstanding desire to see my worshipable Deity would die forever.”