Verse 2.3.39

Sanskrit text, Unicode transliteration, Word-for-word and English translation of verse 2.3.39:

क्षणान् निराकारम् इवावलोकयन् स्मरामि नीलाद्रि-पतेर् अनुग्रहम् ।
क्षणाच् च साकारम् उदीक्ष्य पूर्ववन् महा-महः-पुञ्जम् अमुं लभे मुदम् ॥ ३९ ॥

kṣaṇān nirākāram ivāvalokayan smarāmi nīlādri-pater anugraham |
kṣaṇāc ca sākāram udīkṣya pūrvavan mahā-mahaḥ-puñjam amuṃ labhe mudam || 39 ||

kṣaṇāt–for a moment; nirākāram–formless; iva–as if; avalokayan–seeing; smarāmi–remembering; nīlādri-pateḥ–of Śrī Jagannāthadeva, the Lord of Nīlādri; anugraham–the mercy; kṣaṇāt–for a moment; ca–also; sa-ākāram–in His personal form; udīkṣya–seeing; pūrva-vat–as before; mahā-mahaḥ-puñjam–vast mass of effulgence; amum–this; labhe–I attained; mudam–joy.

After a moment, when I again observed that vast, intense effulgence as formless and impersonal, I was pained at heart. I thus remembered the mercy of Śrī Jagannātha, the Lord of Nīlādri, and the very next moment, I again saw the Lord in personal form. This brought me great joy.

Commentary: Dig-darśinī-ṭīkā with Bhāvānuvāda

(By Śrīla Sanātana Gosvāmī himself including a deep purport of that commentary)

Śrī Gopa-kumāra says, “After a moment, I observed that great radiance as a formless mass. I became unable to discern His distinct form, which was blocked by His blinding, condensed effulgence.” Alternatively, it may be said, “Factually He was not formless, but due to the nature of the abode of liberation, I saw Him in His impersonal, formless feature.”

He continues, “I immediately remembered the mercy of Śrī Jagannātha, the Lord of Nīlādri, and reflected that because He always displays His personal form, no one surpasses Him in mercy. Then, after another moment, I saw that effulgent mass again in a personal form. In other words, when I glanced upwards that great effulgent mass assumed a personal form. Thus the Lord increased my bliss.”

This went on repeatedly over a long time, and so Śrī Gopa-kumāra has described it in the present tense even though it took place in the past. This idea will be discussed again further on in the text.