Verse 2.1.168

Sanskrit text, Unicode transliteration, Word-for-word and English translation of verse 2.1.168:

अत्राग्रतो गन्तु-मनाश् च नेशे प्रेम्णा ततो वेपथुभिर् निरुद्धः ।
रोमञ्च-भिन्नोऽश्रु-विलुप्त-दृष्टिः स्तम्भं सुपर्णस्य कथञ्चिद् आप्तः ॥ १६८ ॥

atrāgrato gantu-manāś ca neśe premṇā tato vepathubhir niruddhaḥ |
romañca-bhinno'śru-vilupta-dṛṣṭiḥ stambhaṃ suparṇasya kathañcid āptaḥ || 168 ||

tatra–there; agrataḥ–ahead; gantu-manāḥ–my mind desired to go; ca–also; na iśe–I was unable; premṇā–by the external symptoms of ecstatic love; hataḥ–afflicted; vepathubhiḥ–with trembling; niruddhaḥ–blocked; roma-añca–hairs standing erect; bhinnaḥ–individually; aśru–by tears; vilupta–covered; dṛṣṭiḥ–my vision; stambham–the pillar; suparṇasya–of Garuḍa; kathañcit–somehow; āptaḥ–caught hold.

I was eager to go near Śrī Jagannātha but was unable to walk forward. My mind had become helplessly deprived of will and, due to ecstatic love, all my limbs were trembling. My hairs stood erect and I lost control of my body as tears blocked my vision. With great difficulty, I somehow caught hold of the Garuḍa pillar and stood there.

Commentary: Dig-darśinī-ṭīkā with Bhāvānuvāda

(By Śrīla Sanātana Gosvāmī himself including a deep purport of that commentary)

Śrī Gopa-kumāra says, “Although my enchanting vision of śrī-mūrti, the divine Deity of the Lord, made me yearn to go into the temple’s sanctum sanctorum, I could not proceed. Overcome by intense love, I became helpless and unable to move.” This condition is described by two distinguishing attributes: jāḍya and aśru. “Due to horripilation, I lost control over my entire body.” This originates from the ecstatic symptom of being stunned (jāḍya). “And I was unable to see, as streams of tears (aśru) obscured my vision.”

Alternatively, this verse is saying, “Unable to see, I stood somehow by gripping the Garuḍa pillar, which was present in front of Śrī Jagannātha-deva. Even though I was not externally conscious, I managed to reach that Garuḍa pillar, only by the mercy of Bhagavān.” This is the actual essence of what is being said.