Text 5

The identity of a perfected soul is described in Śrī Rādhā-rasa-sudhā-nidhi (53):

दुकूलं विभ्राणाम् अथ कुचतटे कञ्चु-कपटं
   प्रसादं स्वामिन्याः स्वकर-तल-दत्तं प्रणयतः
स्थितां नित्यं पार्श्वे विविध-परिचर्यैक-चतुरां
   किशोरीम् आत्मानं किम् हि सुकुमारीं नु कलये

dukūlaṃ vibhrāṇām atha kucataṭe kañcu-kapaṭaṃ
   prasādaṃ svāminyāḥ svakara-tala-dattaṃ praṇayataḥ
sthitāṃ nityaṃ pārśve vividha-paricaryaika-caturāṃ
   kiśorīm ātmānaṃ kim hi sukumārīṃ nu kalaye

When will I be able to count myself as a very skilful, delicate young girl, always staying close by my Svāminī, alert to serving Her every need, wearing Her silken bodice that She affectionately gave me with Her own hands?

सिद्ध-देहे गोपी आमि श्री-राधा किङ्करी
राधा-प्रसादित वस्त्र-कञ्चुलिका परि

siddha-dehe gopī āmi śrī-rādhā kiṅkarī
rādhā-prasādita vastra-kañculikā pari

गृहे पति परिहरि, किशोरी-वयसे
राधा-पद सेवि कुञ्जे रजनी-दिवसे

gṛhe pati parihari, kiśorī-vayase
rādhā-pada sevi kuñje rajanī-divase

Commentary: Bhajana-rahasya-vṛtti:

The rasika-ācāryas conclude that when the sādhaka enters the stage of perfection, he attains the bhāva he meditated upon while in the stage of sādhana. The cherished desire of the Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas is to possess the self-identity (abhimāna) of being a maidservant of Śrī Rādhā. The appropriate sādhana to attain one’s svarūpa and one’s service to Śrī Rādhā is revealed by the spiritual master.

आत्मानं चिन्तयेत् तत्र तासां मध्ये मनोरमाम्
रूप-यौवन-सम्पन्नां किशोरीं प्रमदाकृतिम्

ātmānaṃ cintayet tatra tāsāṃ madhye manoramām
rūpa-yauvana-sampannāṃ kiśorīṃ pramadākṛtim

Sanat-kumāra-saṃhitā (184)

सखीनां सङ्गिनी-रूपाम् आत्मानं वासना-मयीम्
आज्ञा-सेवा-परां तत् तत् कृपालङ्कार-भूषिताम्

sakhīnāṃ saṅginī-rūpām ātmānaṃ vāsanā-mayīm
ājñā-sevā-parāṃ tat tat kṛpālaṅkāra-bhūṣitām

Prema-bhakti-candrikā (5.10)

A sādhaka of rāgamārga should internally perceive himself to be one of the young, beautiful gopī beloveds of Śrī Kṛṣṇa. He should meditate on his desired svarūpa as a female companion of Śrī Rādhā’s maidservants, such as Śrī Rūpa Mañjarī and Śrī Rati Mañjarī, and adorned with the ornaments mercifully given by them, he should completely absorb himself in service to Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava, according to their instructions.

The word cintayet in the above verse from the Sanat-kumārasaṃhitā means that the sādhaka should nourish the following firm conception: “I am a kiśorī with the same moods and qualities as Śrī Rādhā’s nitya-siddha-mañjarīs.” A Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇava sādhaka in deep meditation will be fixed in this idea: “I am not this body, these senses or mind; I am a maidservant of Śrī Rādhā and I am endowed with qualities such as the beauty and disposition (rasa) of a young cowherd maiden (gopa-kiśorī).” This deep meditation on the soul (ātma-cintana) will quickly result in his giving up identification with the material body, and he will attain svarūpa-siddhi.

In this Text 5, Śrīla Prabodhānanda Sarasvatī describes the method of becoming a beautiful young gopa-kiśorī: “I will meditate on myself as a kiśorī adorned with the silken cloth and bodice that Svāminī gave me with Her own hands.” Svāminī’s affection and compassion is directly experienced through the personal effects and articles of clothing She hands on, inherent to which is a visceral impression of the sweetness of the Divine Couple’s amorous play (vilāsa ). Absorption in one’s svarūpa invokes moods of service and intimacy, and so a clever young girl is described who is always at her Svāminī’s side and intent on performing various services to Her. Śrī Rādhā’s maidservants derive their life force from Her service; it is the taste of service (sevā-rasa) that consolidates their spiritual forms.

The main goal of the Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇavas is to become a rādhādāsī, a maidservant of Śrī Rādhā. The sādhaka remains ever fixed on this goal, just as the position of the pole star is fixed in the sky. By the mercy of śrī guru, the sādhaka is introduced to his eternal identity as a maidservant of Śrī Rādhā. Upon attaining that, he abandons his bodily identity as a servant of māyā, and he purely identifies himself as rādhā-dāsī.

In his song Śrī Rādhā-kṛṣṇa Pada-kamale Mana (10), Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura prays: “lalitā sakhīra, ayogyā kiṅkarī, vinoda dhariche pāya–This unworthy maidservant of Śrī Lalitā Sakhī, Bhaktivinoda, beseeches You by clasping Your lotus feet.”