Text 19

A sincere prayer for attaining rādhā-dāsya, spoken in a voice choked with emotion, is found in Stava-mālā (Śrī Gāndharvāsamprārthanāṣṭakam 2):

हा देवि! काकु-भर-गद्गदयाद्य वाचा याचे निपत्य भुवि दण्डवद्-उद्भटार्तिः
अस्य प्रसादम् अबुधस्य जनस्य कृत्वा गान्धर्विके! निज-गणे गणनां विधेहि

hā devi! kāku-bhara-gadgadayādya vācā yāce nipatya bhuvi daṇḍavad-udbhaṭārtiḥ
asya prasādam abudhasya janasya kṛtvā gāndharvike! nija-gaṇe gaṇanāṃ vidhehi

O Devī Gāndharvikā! Today, in utter desperation, I throw myself on the ground like a stick. Filled with great distress, I implore You with a choked voice to be merciful to this fool and count me as one of Your own.

भुमे दण्डवत्-पडि’ बहु आर्ति-स्वरे
काकु-भरे गद्गद-वचने योड करे

bhume daṇḍavat-paḍi’ bahu ārti-svare
kāku-bhare gadgada-vacane yoḍa kare

प्रार्थना करि गो देवि, ए अबुध जने
तव गणे गणि’ कृपा कर अकिञ्चने

prārthanā kari go devi, e abudha jane
tava gaṇe gaṇi’ kṛpā kara akiñcane

Commentary: Bhajana-rahasya-vṛtti:

Here Śrī Rūpa Gosvāmī is offering an extremely woeful prayer at the lotus feet of Śrī Svāminī: “Please also count me amongst Your intimate maidservants.” Even though he is one of Śrīman Mahāprabhu’s eternal associates, he considers himself an ajāta-rati-sādhaka. There is not a great difference between humility and prema. Śrī Bṛhad-bhāgavatāmṛta (2.5.224–225) states, “In the fully mature stage of the most exalted prema, natural humility arises, and incessant prema develops when humility matures. Therefore, in humility and prema, a relationship of mutual ‘cause and effect’ or ‘producer and product’ is clearly seen.”

The phrase kāku-bhara-gadgadayādya vācā indicates melting of the heart, which is the external symptom of prema. The word hā expresses longing (utkaṇṭhā ), and the word gadgada, which means ‘with a choked voice’, indicates that his prayer is beseeching and filled with humility.

Because their longing is so intense, the vraja-devīs are able to reject their family members and the rules and regulations of society. Due to intense feelings that ‘Śyāmasundara is mine’ (mamatā), they are also able to cross over all obstacles and impediments. Śrī Kṛṣṇa, who is controlled by this mamatā, which is filled with longing, considers Himself ever-indebted to the gopīs.

The words devī gāndharvike express the glories of Śrī Rādhā’s good fortune. They refer to She who is a mine of sweetness and beauty and who, by Her captivating dancing, singing, playing on musical instruments and performance of other charming arts, completely enchants the mind of Śrī Kṛṣṇa.

Deep attachment (rati) filled with longing and humility is the wealth of rāgamārga-sādhakas. Śrīla Sanātana Gosvāmī defines humility as follows: “If, in spite of possessing all good qualities, one considers oneself wretched, abhorrent and incompetent, this is humility (dainya).” It is humility only that attracts the mercy of Śrī Bhagavān and makes a person a worthy recipient of Śrī Kṛṣṇa’s grace. Pretentious humility is inimical to bhakti and should always be abandoned. In fact, real humility is not mere external behaviour; it manifests from the heart.

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura sings (Hari Hari! Kabe Mora Habe Hena Dina, verse 2):

अन्तर-बाहिरे, सम व्यवहार, अमानी मानद ह’ब
कृष्ण-सङ्कीर्तने, श्री-कृष्ण-स्मरणे, सतत मजिया र’ब

antara-bāhire, sama vyavahāra, amānī mānada ha’ba
kṛṣṇa-saṅkīrtane, śrī-kṛṣṇa-smaraṇe, satata majiyā ra’ba

No disparity shall remain between my internal and external behaviour. I shall not desire honour for myself and shall instead offer respect to others. I shall remain constantly absorbed in chanting Kṛṣṇa’s names and remembering Him.