Chapter 3 - The Unfolding Of The Lotus

There are many possible entrances to the path of truth. During the early days of my prison life I had learned that I could turn my talent for drawing into a profitable sideline by tattooing inmates.

Every convict has some kind of side job or scam that allows him to earn extra “money.” Of course, actually money is not permitted so a kind of barter system has developed over time. Cigarettes are a valuable form of currency so everybody uses cigarettes, even if they don"t smoke. Anything of value can be and is used for barter.

If you work in the laundry, even clean uniforms can become part of the complex deals that exist. Most inmates get fresh clothes a few times each week, but some convicts are higher in the prison social order and want clean clothes every day. Having these clean clothes pressed and starched of course sets the individual apart. It is a mark of distinction that proves his special status and demonstrates his power.

To get these uniforms many things can be exchanged, candy bars, cigarettes, illegal dope, weapons, or possibly even simple intimidation. This is only one example of the jailhouse economic structure.

I mention all of this because it was my talent for tattooing others that led me to the Dharma. It seemed like more misfortune when I was caught in the middle of performing my art—the result was sixty days in the hole.

I was now at one of the lowest points in my life—I seemed to be living in the blackest pit of despair. I seriously began to consider suicide as a solution to my endless problems. Many people envision the hole as a place of quiet solitude—it"s more like an angry war zone. Inmates spend their time yelling abuse at the guards, flooding their cells by deliberately backing up the toilet in their cell, ripping up paper and throwing it about, or the big favorite, keeping milk until it sours and then throwing it all over the unit"s floor.

I didn"t really need sixty days of this nonsense to drive me even crazier than I was already. I now realize that there is a point in the human mind that represents the lowest possible state. Sometimes it"s necessary for us to reach this condition before we began to fight back. I hit my personal bottom during my first week in the hole and stayed there, exploring the depths until the end of week three.

It was in my last week that something amazing happened to me. I had a dream. It was a peaceful dream about walking on a road, the details aren"t very important really; it was the amazing tranquility I experienced that so impressed me. The dream ended with my discovery of some kind of flower that I had never seen before. While the memory of the flower stayed in the back of my mind, it was the peace I felt that really impressed me at the time.

When I was returned to the population my best friend approached me because he wanted a tattoo for his birthday. We had seen a program on the Discovery Channel that showed a picture of an oriental dragon and he wanted that dragon badly.

I tried to draw it on paper, but couldn"t get it right, so we went to the library to look for oriental artwork. We searched through numerous books but had no luck. I then decided to try the encyclopedia and to my surprise I discovered the flower that I had dreamed about. This was kind of a weird experience but it was also exciting.

The flower was a Lotus Blossom, which in Buddhism is the symbol of cause and effect. I knew a little bit about Buddhist koans from my friend, Winston, (See, “The Search Within”) but I had never encountered a Lotus Flower.

I now became intensely interested in Buddhism and quickly read all of the books available on the subject. However, there wasn"t a great deal of information. I did learn about the four noble truths and the eightfold path, as well as the basic teachings on Karma and Rebirth.

Since I had exhausted the teachings available in the library, my next step was to visit the chapel in search of more books. I found one. It was written by a professor who studied Buddhism from the outside as academic research, but it did contain some sutras, which I gleefully copied and studied.

It was at this point that I began my practice of reciting the three jewels (See, “The Search Within”) and I made a small shrine in my cell with a picture of the Buddha as the centerpiece. I began to seriously practice everyday and my mind began to heal.

I was discovering that I could exist in this unpleasant environment in a state of mental peace. In a short time my friends began to notice a big difference in me and they wanted to know what had happened. This simple beginning was the start of my teaching ministry.

However, I was hungry for more information and there was nothing available. I looked in a Kansas City Phone Book and found the address for an organization called SGI. I wrote to them asking for books or material that they could give me so that I could continue my studies. I never heard a word from them.

Weeks later, a group in Kansas City called Buddhist Information of North America (BIONA) sent me a letter saying that the SGI had forwarded my letter to them and that they would send me all the material I needed. I requested a few Suttas that I had heard about and later that week I received them!

The person I was writing to at BIONA turned out to be the director, a man named Stephen Klick. I wrote to him asking for more teachings, and he sent me The Heart Sutra and The Diamond Sutra. This was the beginning of my studies of the Mahayana Teachings and they had a dramatic effect on my life and practice.

Of course all students should study both Theravada and Mahayana texts because they are the profound teachings of the Buddha and we need both kinds of teachings to become successful practitioners.

At this point I received another letter from Stephen telling me that he would start a continuous study course for me that would be centered on the teachings of The Threefold Lotus Sutra and the writings of his teacher, Nichiren. He sent me a copy of “The Threefold Lotus Sutra” and some writings of Nichiren called Gosho.

As I studied and practiced my faith began to become strong and I was resolved to follow this path. I became determined to attain enlightenment for the sake of all sentient beings. I was beginning to transform inside from a hardened convict into a golden lotus flower blossoming in the new morning sun.