A Happy Married Life

A Buddhist Perspective

by Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda | 1986 | 12,516 words

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Sex by itself is not "evil," although the temptation and craving for it invariably disturbs the peace of mind, and hence is not conducive to spiritual development.

In the ideal situation, sex is the physical culmination of a deeply satisfying emotional relationship, where both partners give and take equally.

The portrayal of love by commercial groups through the mass media in what we call "western" culture is not "real" love. When an animal wants to have sex, it shows its "love," but after having experienced sex, it just forgets about love. For animals, sex is just an instinctive drive necessary for procreation. But a human being has much more to offer in the concept of love. Duties and responsibilities are important ingredients to maintain unity, harmony and understanding in a relationship between human beings.

Sex is not the most important ingredient for happiness in a married life. Those who have become slaves to sex would only ruin love and humanity in marriage. Apart from that, a woman must cease to consider herself as the object of a mans lust. The remedy is more in her hand than in a mans. She must refuse to adorn herself simply to please a man, even if he is her husband. If she wants to be an equal partner with a man, she should dress so that her dignity is enhanced, and she does not become a sex symbol. Marriage for the satisfaction of the sexual appetite is no marriage. It is concupiscence. (Gandhi)

Love may indeed be a product of sex, but the reverse is likewise true: sex is an expression of love. In the ideally happy married life, both love and sex are inseparable.

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