Chapter 54 - Farewell to Tibet

Towards the end of April, news came that the passes were opening and that the caravan road had been dug out from the avalanches which had blocked it during the previous months. The hour of parting came near, and while we were assembling our caravan and preparing for our final return to India, Phiyang Lama set out for his Gompa in the district of Tsaparang. Before our beloved Guru left, he bade us to return to Tibet some day and to stay with him at his monastery. He gave us his 'Soldeb' (gsol-hdebs), a beautiful prayer composed by him, as a last gift and guidance. Whenever reciting it, we would be united with him in spirit.

On the morning of his departure we wanted to accompany him for a few miles, as a mark of respect and gratitude, but he firmly declined to accept this honour and insisted on walking alone. We bowed to his will, prostrated ourselves and received his last blessings. We all (Sherab included) had tears in our eyes when we saw him walking along the road, a solitary pilgrim -- poorer even than on the day of his arrival, because his horse had died some weeks before. When grazing on the steep hillside, a short distance from our place, it had fallen into a deep ravine, probably due to its one blind eye. The Lama's few belongings had been carried ahead by some of the villagers, who had volunteered for this last labour of love for the Guru who had given so much to the village by his presence and his selfless service.

As soon as the solitary figure had disappeared From our eyes, I turned into the house and began to recite the Soldeb in order to get over the pangs of parting, and lo! -- without knowing how it happened -- the deep voice of the Guru sounded from my own chest! Li and Sherab came running in wonder and I heard them shouting: 'Has the Guru returned?' And then they saw me, and I could only say: 'Only his voice has returned!' Since then the voice has come back whenever I remembered the Guru, our beloved Lama of Phiyang.

Finally, our caravan had been arranged after the usual delays and negotiations. We had asked Sherab to come with us, but he was afraid to venture into lower altitudes. Even in winter he often used to strip to the waist when working—especially when splitting big logs of fire-wood, which he had purchased from the villagers. He regarded Poo as a warm climate and an altitude of 9,000 feet was to him the lowest limit beyond which he would not dare to descend. He told us that he looked upon us as his father and his mother, and that he would like to serve us in every capacity. But he would die if he went into the lowlands of India, like so many of his countrymen who had never returned.

On the last day before our departure he carved a beautiful prayer-stone with the inscription 'Oṁ maṇi padme Hūṁ'. We went with him to the Maṇiwall, where he deposited the tablet, while praying to be reborn with us in a future life, so that he might be able to serve us again. He then turned round to hide his tears and went away quickly, without looking back, because -- as he had told us beforehand -- if he did not go quickly and without looking back, it would break his heart.

The last to say goodbye to us was our dear friend and Guru-bhai Namgyal. I embraced him and we both thanked him for all that he had done for us. And so we left our

'Shangrila', the Valley of Happiness, and returned to the world, not knowing that Tibet's hour of fate had struck and that we would never see it again, except in our dreams. But we knew that the Gurus and the treasures of memory that this unforgettable country had bestowed on us would remain with us till the end of our days and that, if we succeeded in passing on to others even a part of those treasures and of our Guru's teachings, we would feel that we had repaid a little of the debt of gratitude that we owe to Tibet and to our Teachers.

This is why this book had to be written and why we are determined to dedicate the rest of our lives to the completion of the work that fate entrusted to us at Tsaparang and to convey to the world in word, line, and colour the immortal heritage of Tibet.