Intimacy

The modern West has stories of sexual harassment, so the ways that the Buddha dealt with such matters should not seem so very strange.

If a bhikkhu touches a woman in a sexual way, he commits a very serious offence requiring formal meetings of the Community and probation (Sa"nghaadisesa). The scrupulous bhikkhu wants to remain above suspicion so, if he can, he will avoid all physical contact. (Hence his attitude to shaking hands. This also explains why in Thailand a receiving cloth is used to receive offerings from women. (See EN 85)

The rule was first set down by the Buddha after a brahman and his wife had gone to inspect Ven. Udaayins fine dwelling. As Ven. Udaayin was showing them around, he came up behind the lady and "rubbed up against her limb by limb." After they had left, the husband praised Ven. Udaayin but the wife was critical and explained what had happened. The brahman then complained, "Isnt it even possible to take ones wife to a monastery without her being molested?" This rule was then set down:

"Should any bhikkhu, overcome by lust, with altered mind, engage in bodily contact with a woman, or in holding her hand, holding a lock of her hair, or caressing any of her limbs, it entails initial and subsequent meetings of the Community."

(Sa"ngh. 2; BMC p.100)

To be at fault, the bhikkhu must usually do some action to bring contact with a woman while lust overcomes his mind.^[1] If he accidentally stumbles and bumps into a woman or vice versa, or if he is accosted by a woman, as long as there is no intention to come into lustful contact there is no offence. However, the average bhikkhus mind tends to be so quick and unruly — he is, after all, still in training and therefore unenlightened — that he may prefer to be super cautious about such situations.

If a bhikkhu touches his mother out of affection, then this is still an offence but the lesser one of wrong doing (dukka.ta). ^[2] While gratitude to parents was strongly emphasized by the Buddha, the bhikkhu having left the home life and his family should not cling to worldly relationships. The only true way for him to fulfill his filial obligations is by gaining insight into Dhamma and then teaching his parents.

If a bhikkhu is acting with lustful intentions, he incurs a grave (thullaccaaya) offence for making bodily contact with a pa.n.daka (sex- aberrant) and an offence of wrong doing for contact with a male. (See BMC p.103)

The previous rules dealt with the bhikkhus physical actions, the next two rules are offences — again of the very serious category — that concern his wrong speech towards women.

Footnotes and references:

[1]:

"...The word used for lustful intentions: (otti.n.na, lit. "possessed by") is quite strong: impassioned, full of desire, attracted heart. Also used is vipari.natena cittena, lit. a mind changed for the worst, defined as infatuated, corrupt, blinded (Vin.III,121). The Commentary defines this as a mind with lust (raaga). Thus, coming into unlustful physical contact with a female, such as accidentally hitting a womans hand during a food offering, or contact made while trying to get away from contact), is not a fault." (HS ch.13)

[2]:

"The Vinaya mentions cases of bhikkhus touching their mother, daughter and sister — that is, direct blood relations — for affection, and this was said to be, not a fault of Formal Meeting, but a Wrong Doing (Vin.III,126)." (HS ch.13)