Chapter VIII - The Whole Palace in Grief

1. As Chandaka led the horse back, his hopes were lost and his heart was filled with sadness. He wept all along the way, unable to come to his senses.

2. Previously, [traveling] with the Crown Prince, it had been a straight road for one whole night but now, having abandoned the Crown Prince and returning, and because his celestial protection had been taken away from his life, he walked to and fro with an anxious heart, and reached the city after eight days.

3. The fine horse once had been swift. It had exerted itself and was characterized by majesty. As it staggered along it looked behind, but it did not see the Crown Prince appear.

4. [The horse] let its tears flow and its four limbs hung loose. It was distressed and had lost its brightness. It walked in circles, mourning and neighing sadly. Night and day it forgot about water and grass.

5. Having lost their ruler who would save the world, they returned to Kapilavastu. The land was completely desolate, as if they had returned to an empty village. When, for instance, the sun is screened off by Sumeru, the whole world is obscured in the heavy darkness.

6. Springs and ponds were not clear, and flowers and fruits did not flourish. Men and women in the alleys and streets were sad and had lost their joyful appearance.

7. Chandaka and the white horse were dispirited and unable to move forward. When asked about the matter, he could not answer. They walked slowly, like corpses.

8. When the crowd saw that Chandaka had returned and when they did not see the Śākya prince, [the people] loudly wept with raised voices, as if he [were the one who had] returned having abandoned Rāma.

9. Some people came to the side of the road and, heads bowed, asked Chandaka, “The prince is loved by the world. He is the life of the people in the whole world. You suddenly took him away and led him off. Where is he now?”

10. Chandaka restrained his sad thoughts and he answered the people, “I pursued him with affection. I did not abandon the prince.

11. “The prince abandoned me, and he has rejected his mundane deportment. He has taken the tonsure, wears the garment of the Law, and has entered the forest of asceticism.”

12. When the crowd heard that [the prince] had gone forth, they were startled and amazed. They sobbed and cried. Mucus and tears came down in mixed streams.

13. One said to the other, “What shall we do?” They all talked it over. “We must all follow him. If someone’s life faculty is ruined, the form and the spirit separate when the person has died.

14. “The prince is our life. Having lost our life, how shall we live? These villages will become a forest, and that forest will become our villages. This city has lost its majestic quality, as if one had killed Vṛtra.”^[1]

15. When it was falsely reported to the men and women in the city that the prince had returned, they hurried out to the head of the road, but they saw only that his horse had returned alone. Nobody knew whether he was alive or dead, and they wept in all kinds of voices.

16. Leading the horse on foot, Chandaka returned, sobbing and letting his tears fall. He felt grief at the loss of the Crown Prince. The fear in his heart increased, just as when a warrior has destroyed the enemy and sends his captured foe before the king.

17. As he entered the gate his tears came down like rain. They filled his eyes and he could not see a thing. He looked up to heaven and bitterly wept. The white horse neighed sadly too.

18. When the various birds and animals in the palace and the horses in the inner stables heard the sad neighing of the white horse, they cried out in response. They cried out thinking that the Crown Prince had returned, but when they did not see him they ceased their cries.

19. The ladies of the palace heard the horses, birds, and animals cry out. Their hair was disheveled, their faces were pallid. Their figures became emaciated and their lips dry. Their torn clothes were unwashed, and they were dirty and unbathed.

20. Their ornaments were all dispensed with, spoiled and dull. Their whole bodies had lost their brightness, just like stars fading at night’s close. Their garments were ruined and ragged. They looked as if they had been robbed.

21. When they saw Chandaka and the white horse, they wept and went back without any hope. They were moved [to tears] and wailed bitterly, as if they had just lost a relative. They were disordered and disturbed, like a herd of cows that had lost its way.

22. When Mahāprajāpātī Gautamī heard that the Crown Prince had not returned, she flinched and fell to the ground, her four limbs all bruised. 23. She was like a gold-colored plantain tree broken by a gale of wind. When she further heard that her son had gone forth, she sighed deeply and her sadness increased.

24. “His soft hair, turning to the right, grows one hair per pore. It is black and pleasant, fresh and bright. It lies scattered on the ground, flowing evenly. Now lying shaven on the grassy ground, to what purpose was it fitted with a celestial crown?

25. “[He has] straight arms and the gait of a lion, the long and wide eyes of an ox king, a body bright like a golden blaze, a square chest, and a pure voice.

26. “With these exquisite characteristics he has entered the forest of asceticism. What little merit did the world have that it has lost this noble ruler of the earth?

27. “His soft feet with fine membranes have the color of a pure lotus. A thorny forest with earth and rocks, how could they walk on it?

28. “He has grown up within his palace, dressed in warm and soft clothes. He bathed in fragrant warm water, and his body was powdered with incense. Now he is exposed, braving the wind. How could he bear the cold or heat?

29. “As a great man of nobility he is prominent and superior in learning. Endowed with virtue, his fame is great. He is always generous, without wanting anything. Why would he suddenly beg for his food to live on? 30. “He lay on a pure, precious couch, awakened from his sleep by music.

How can he lay himself down on the grassy ground in a mountain forest?”

31. Holding her son dear, she felt grief in her heart and fell to the ground in low spirits. Her servants helped her up and wiped away her tears.

32. The other ladies let their four limbs hang with grief. Inwardly upset, they were miserable in their hearts. They stood still, just like painted figures.

33. Then Yaśodharā severely reprimanded Chandaka. “This person on my mind, where would he be now? The three of you, men and a horse, went together, but now only two have come back.

34. “I am utterly fearful in my heart, trembling and ill at ease. You are an improper person. You are not close to me, and you are not a good friend.

35. “Even though my misfortune is very grave, you laugh. I consider your weeping to be just that! You were about to go away but you return in tears. Your reversal is not fitting.

36. “You were held dear, a companion of my sovereign, but you have an indulgent mind, following your liking. So you did not let the noble prince return, once he was gone.

37. “You must be very glad now! Having done evil, its result is already accomplished. It would be better to approach a wise enemy than to frequent a foolish friend.

38. “You were falsely called a good friend. Inwardly you really feel enmity. You have now suddenly and completely destroyed this excellent royal house.

39. “These noble ladies are mournful and have spoiled their beauty. They are out of breath from weeping and tears stream down all across their faces.

40. “When their master was still in the world, they relied on him as if he were the Snowy Mountains. His mind was as firm as the great earth. They are almost saddened to death.

41. “Even more so for those who are sadly weeping and loudly crying in the windows! Life and death, their proper place is natural, but how could they bear this suffering?”

42. She said to the horse: “You are not righteous. You have taken away someone whom people esteem in their hearts, just like an evil thief who has stolen precious things in the dark.

43. “When he rode you into battle, he could endure all: swords, spears, and sharp arrows. But what is there he cannot endure now?

44. “The most excellent one of my noble family! You have taken away my heart by force. You are a noxious creature! You have done improper actions!

45. “Today you cry out loudly, and your cries fill the royal palace. But when you previously took away the one I hold dear, why then were you mute?

46. “If you had let out a sound then, the whole palace would have woken up. If it had woken up then, I would not be suffering now.”

47. When Chandaka heard these painful words, he swallowed his breath and his breathing froze. He rubbed away his tears, held his palms together, and answered, “Please listen to my plea!

48. “Do not disparage the white horse, and do not hate me either! We are both without fault. It was the doing of a celestial spirit.

49. “I was utterly afraid of the king’s law but I was compelled by celestial spirits. They quickly led the horse to him, and they both went away as swiftly as if they were flying. [The spirit] calmed [the horse’s] breathing so that it did not make a sound, and its feet did not touch the ground either.

50. “The gate of the city opened by itself and the sky was naturally bright. All this was the doing of celestial spirits. How could this be through my efforts?”

51. When Yaśodharā heard his words, she thought it was astonishing. It had been the doing of celestial spirits and it was not the case that they were to blame.

52. Her thoughts of disparagement were eliminated. Her burning, great suffering was appeased. She fell to the ground and sighed with resentment that the pair of mandarin ducks^[2] had separated.

53. [She addressed the Crown Prince:] “I have lost my support now! You have brought separation in the practice of our common duties. You found happiness in the Law and you have abandoned our common practice. Where would you further be seeking for the Law?

54. “Our former excellencies of the past, King Mahāsudarśana and others, all applied themselves to the path together with their wives, wandering through the forests and the wilds, but you have now abandoned me. What kind of a law would you seek?

55. “In the code for brahmans about offering sacrifices, the wife must practice together [with her husband]. The duties they perform together are a cause and in the end they experience the result together. Why are you alone miserly of the Law, abandoning me and wandering on your own?

56. “Either you see me as jealous and still seek someone who is not jealous, or you must feel contempt for me and further seek a pure celestial maiden.

57. “For what beauty with excellent virtue are you practicing asceticism and have brought about separation from me, your wife, because of my despicable life?

58. “Why do you not take Rāhula on your knee? Alas, unfortunate gentle man! Your appearance is gentle but your heart is hard.

59. “The abundant light of your excellent family is splendid. Even an enemy respects it. But when a son is born but no infant yet, one can discard it forever.

60. “I do not feel any sympathy either. You, my husband, have abandoned me and are wandering through a mountain forest. You cannot destroy yourself. You are a person of wood or stone.”

61. After [speaking] these words, her heart was confused. She wailed or talked frantically. Or she gazed, lost in thought. She was choked with sobs and could not control herself. She was mournful and, lying in the dirt, her breathing almost stopped.

62. When the group of ladies saw her, they felt grief. They were like flourishing lotuses [that have been] broken by storms and hail and made pale.

63. The king, the father, had lost his crown prince, and night and day his heart sadly yearned. He observed the fast and requested the celestial spirits, “Please, let my son quickly return!”

64. After he had uttered his wish and his plea, he left through the gate of celestial sacrifices. When he heard the weeping voices he was startled and bewildered, like a herd of elephants stampeding in disarray when there is great thunder and lightning in the sky.

65. After he had seen Chandaka and the white horse, and after extensive questioning, he knew that [his son] had gone forth. His body fell to the ground, just like the crumbling of the banner of Lord Śakra.

66. His ministers slowly helped him up and, as was right, they urged him to be at ease. After a long while he returned to consciousness and said to the white horse:

67. “I have frequently ridden you into battle. I remember that you were meritorious every time, but now I detest you, twice as much as when I held you dear! 68. “My beloved, meritorious son—you unexpectedly carried him away. You discarded him in a mountain forest and came back alone, by yourself.

69. “Quickly go to him with me! If not, go and bring him back! If you do not do either of these two, my life will not be preserved. There is no other cure left. Yes, the expectation of my son is my medicine.

70. “Just like the brahman Saṃjaya killed himself over the death of his son, the loss of my son who is practicing the Law will naturally make me lose my life.

71. “The ruler of the beings, Manu, also felt constant sorrow for his son. How much less could I, an ordinary man, feel at ease with the loss of my son?

72. “In ancient times, when his dear son was wandering through a mountain forest, King Aja was deeply affected and his life ended. He was immediately reborn in heaven.

73. “But I am unable to die now. For a long time I will dwell in grief. The whole palace held my son dear, but I long for him in vain, just like a hungry ghost.

74. “I am like someone who is thirsty and looking for water. When he wants to drink, one takes it away. I will keep my thirst and die with it. I will certainly be reborn in the destination of hungry ghosts.

75. “My thirst is completely in vain now. Having obtained water, my son, I have lost it again. Quickly tell me the whereabouts of my son, before my life ends!

76. “Do not let me die of thirst and fall among the hungry ghosts! My determination and strength once were strong. I was as hard to move as the great earth. But, having lost my son, my heart is troubled, just like King Daśaratha^[3] in the past.”

77. The royal preceptor, a scholar of learning, and the chief minister, wise and intelligent, both admonished the king, with neither laxity nor coercion:

78. “Please, calm your emotions! Do not hurt yourself with sorrow! The excellent kings of old abandoned their countries as if they were scattered flowers.

79. “Your son is now applying himself to the path. Why would this make you suffer grief! Remember Asita’s prediction! His just fate should yet be like that!

80. “In celestial happiness or as a wheel-turning king, he will be quiet and not afflicted. How could a worldly ruler change his precious mind?

81. “You should let us search for him now, and go to him. We will make an effort and earnestly reprove him in order to show our sincerity. We wish to lessen his determination in order to soothe your royal grief!”

82. The king was glad and immediately answered, “Yes, go quickly! Like a large bird^[4] circling in the sky for his son, my anxious mind is just like that, holding my crown prince dear now.”

83. After the two men received [the king’s] order, the minds of the king and his retinue were somewhat cooler. [The king] felt relieved and food and drink were circulated.

Footnotes and references:

[1]:

Vṛtra was killed by Indra, who then hid himself in the waters. A drought ensued.

[2]:

Cakravāka birds: a pair of ducks, symbols of conjugal love. In China they are usually called yuanyang, mandarin ducks.

[3]:

King Daśaratha mourned for the loss of his son, Rāma.

[4]:

Śakunta, a bird (of prey).