Part 1 - Australia

A Lay Buddhists Guide to the Monks Code of Conduct^[1]

... A bhikkhu must have all eatables and drinkables (including medicines) except plain water, formally offered into his hands or placed on or into something in direct contact with his hands. In order to prevent contact with a woman, he will generally set down a cloth to receive things offered by a lady...... In the Forest Tradition of which our resident monks are a part, milk is considered to be a food, as are malted drinks such as Ovaltine and Milo, so none of these would be allowed outside the proper times.

In accordance with the discipline a bhikkhu is prohibited from eating fruit or vegetables containing fertile seeds. So when offering such things, a lay person can either remove the seeds, or make the fruit allowable by slightly damaging it with a knife. This is done by piercing the fruit and saying at the same time "kappiya.m bhante" (meaning "I make this allowable, sir.").

It is instructive to note that rather than limiting what can be offered, the Vinaya lays emphasis on the mode of offering. It regards the proper way of offering as being when the lay person approaches within a forearms distance of the bhikkhu, has a respectful manner (so for example, one would try to be lower than the bhikkhu) and is offering something that a bhikkhu can manage to carry(!). All this serves to make the act of offering a mindful and reflective one irrespective of what one is giving — and allows great joy to arise...

Forest bhikkhus generally make their own robes from the cloth that is given. Plain white cotton is always useful (it can be dyed to the correct dull ochre) or worsted for the thicker robe (Sanghati). In a cold climate, the basic triple robe of the Buddha is supplemented with sweaters, beanies, socks, etc., and these, of an appropriate brown color, can also be offered...

The bhikkhus precepts do not allow him to sleep more than three nights with an unordained male, and not even to lie down in the same room with a female. In providing a temporary room for a night one need not provide a great deal of furniture, a simple spare room that is private is adequate...

A bhikkhu is allowed to use medicines if they are offered in the same way as food. Once offered, neither food nor medicine should be handled again by a lay person, as that renders it no longer allowable. Medicines can be considered as those things that are specifically for illness; those things that have a tonic or reviving quality (such as tea or sugar); and certain items which have a nutritional value in times of debilitation, hunger or fatigue (such as cheese, miso soup).

There are different limitations regarding the amount of time that a bhikkhu can store such medicines:

One day allowance: Filtered fruit juice (i.e., free of pulp) of any fruit smaller than an average fist. These juices are allowed to be received and drunk any time between one dawn and the dawn of the next day — this time limit prevents the danger of fermentation.

Seven day allowance: Ghee, animal or vegetable oil, honey, any kind of sugar (including molasses) and cheese can be kept and consumed any time up to the dawn of the eighth day after which they were received.

Lifetime allowance: Pharmaceutical medicines, vitamins; plant roots such as ginger, ginseng; herbal decoctions such as camomile; beverages such as tea, coffee and cocoa...

At no time does the monk request food. This principle should be borne in mind when offering food — rather than asking a monk what he would like, it is better to ask if you can offer some food. Considering that the meal will be the one meal of the day, offer what seems right recognizing that the bhikkhu will take what he needs and leave the rest. A good way to offer is to bring bowls of food to the bhikkhu and let him choose what he needs from each bowl.

One can also make an invitation, pavarana, to cover any circumstances that you might not be aware of — a health problem, need for a toothbrush, etc., by saying, "Bhante, if you are in need of any medicine or requisites, please let me know." To avoid misunderstanding it is better to be quite specific, such as — "Bhante, if you need any more food...," "If you need a new pair of sandals..." Unless specified an invitation can only be accepted for up to four months after which time it lapses unless renewed. Specifying the time limit, or giving some indication of the scope of the offering is good, in order to prevent misunderstanding — so that, for instance, when you are intending to offer some fruit juice, the bhikkhu doesnt get the impression you want to buy a washing machine for the monastery!...

In practical terms, monasteries are financially controlled by lay stewards, who then make open invitation for the Sangha to ask for what they need, under the direction of the Abbot. So junior monks even have to ask an appointed agent (generally a senior bhikkhu or abbot) if they may take up the stewards offer — to pay for dental treatment, obtain footwear or medicines, for example. This means that as far as is reasonably possible, the donations that are given to the stewards to support the Sangha are not wasted on unnecessary whims.

If a lay person wishes to give to a particular bhikkhu, but is uncertain of what he needs, he should make invitation. Any financial donations should not be made to X Bhikkhu but to the stewards of the monastery, perhaps mentioning if its for a particular item or for the needs of a certain bhikkhu. For items such as traveling expenses, money can be given to an accompanying anagarika (dressed in white) or accompanying lay person, who can buy tickets, drinks for the journey, or anything else that the bhikkhu may need at that time. It is quite a good training for a lay person to actually consider what items are necessary, and offer those rather than money...

Bhikkhus should have a male present who can understand what is being said when conversing with a lady, and a similar situation holds true for nuns...

So to prevent such misunderstandings — however groundless — a bhikkhu has to be accompanied by a man whenever in the presence of a woman — on a journey or sitting alone in a secluded place (one would not call a meditation hall or a bus station a secluded place). Generally, bhikkhus would also refrain from carrying on correspondence with women, other than for matters pertaining to the monastery, travel arrangements, providing basic information, etc., When teaching Dhamma, even in a letter, it is easy for inspiration and compassion to turn into attachment...

Accordingly for a Dhamma talk, it is good to set up a room where the teachings can be listened to with respect being shown to the speaker. In terms of etiquette — graceful conversation rather than rude — this means affording the speaker a seat that is higher than his audience, not pointing ones feet at the speaker, removing headgear when listening to the talk, and not interrupting the speaker. Questions are welcome at the end of the talk.

Also as a sign of respect, when inviting a bhikkhu, it is usual for the person making the invitation to also make the travel arrangements — directly or indirectly...

Lay people may be interested in applying [these] conventions [of etiquette] for their own training in sensitivity, but it should not be considered as something that is necessarily expected of them.

Firstly, there is the custom of bowing to the shrine or teacher. This is done when first entering their presence or when taking leave. Done gracefully at the appropriate time, this is a beautiful gesture that honors the person who does it; at an inappropriate time, done compulsively, it appears foolish. Another common gesture of respect is to place the hands so that the palms are touching, the fingers pointing upwards, and the hands held immediately in front of the chest. The gesture of raising the hands to the slightly lowered forehead is called anjalii. This is a pleasant means of greeting, bidding farewell, saluting the end of a Dhamma talk, concluding an offering.

Body language is something that is well understood in Asian countries. Apart from the obvious reminder to sit up for a Dhamma talk rather than loll or recline on the floor, one shows a manner of deference by ducking slightly if having to walk between a bhikkhu and the person he is speaking to. Similarly, one would not stand looming over a bhikkhu to talk to him or offer him something, but rather approach him at the level at which he is sitting.

Footnotes and references:

[1]:

Extract from A Lay Buddhists Guide to the Monks Code of Conduct.